A Somber Vow

My somber vow: I’ll fix my gaze on you
And light for you an all-consuming flame,
Yet you won’t even know it when I do.

This promissory bond is burning true,
Not just a smoky wisp or idle game.
My somber vow: I’ll fix my gaze on you.

Your timidness I’ll blindly blaze right through
Without a hint of vanity or shame,
Yet you won’t even know it when I do.

It’s you I have so ruthlessly in view;
I care not for your riches or your fame.
My somber vow: I’ll fix my gaze on you.

Yet until then I calmly bid adieu;
Weep not, nor wait for me to wail your name,
Since you won’t even know it when I do.

For I am Death. My fire is fiercely due;
On every soul I set my searing claim.
My somber vow: I’ll fix my gaze on you,
Yet you won’t even know it when I do.

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J P Marmaro

Date: 2/15/2019 6:38:00 PM

Hi Ed-- How nice to read an intelligent poem which doesn't stoop to hokey "poetic" disfiguring of proper English word order and diction, or non- or almost-rhymes (all right in less formal structures but inappropriate for villanelles or sonnets); and the subject matter is well chosen for the form. Well done!

Line Gauthier

Date: 2/11/2019 9:09:00 PM

Brrr... quite an impact. A lovely poem, Ed. Bravo. Congrats on your well deserved win.

Ed Morris
Date: 2/12/2019 11:02:00 AM

Thank you, Line.

P.S. Awtry

Date: 2/2/2019 1:06:00 PM

Back with congratulations!!!

Mark Toney

Date: 2/1/2019 7:21:00 PM

Ed, a brilliant theme for a Villanelle! The tone is haunting and the form adds to it with its repetition. Surprising reveal at the end! Congratulations on your win on mile 15 of my 2019 Poetry Marathon Contest. Thank you so much for supporting my contests. By continuing to place in the contests you are accumulating points toward the final. ~Mark

Ed Morris
Date: 2/1/2019 9:42:00 PM

Thank you, Mark.

P.S. Awtry

Date: 1/29/2019 11:44:00 PM

Whoa! very cool! ditto the comments below. I thought the guy was a little creepy...and well what's creepier than the Grim Reaper himself!

Ed Morris
Date: 1/30/2019 1:19:00 PM

Thank you, P.S.

Susan Jeavons

Date: 1/28/2019 6:07:00 PM

Ed, A villanelle with a twist at the end. It started like a love story and ended quite dark. The rhyme scheme in a villanelle is not easy to do, but you did it nicely. Blessings, Susan

Ed Morris
Date: 1/28/2019 8:59:00 PM

That's pretty much the effect I was going for, making it get darker and darker until the actor is revealed to be Death. Thank for letting me know it worked. :-)