A Redneck's First Bagel
A Redneck’s First Bagel
By Elton Camp
Old Bubba had spent his life in the hills
Plain food and drink from whiskey stills
So to the big city he decided he’d go
For about other things he’d like to know
He spent the night at the local YMCA
For breakfast, to a café the next day
Soon, Bubba had a bagel on his plate
Because, on the menu, it looked great
He tried to take a bite and then to cut
“Man, thet’s shore a sorry donut!”
“I never seen one thet hard and tough.”
Bubba began to chew and had enough
To the waitress, he began to bawl
“This thang ain’t go no taste at all.”
“I see why city folks air sick an’ pale.
Th’ Devil made this donut down in hale.”
So Bubba quickly packed up his gear
“I hate sich food so I’ll git out of here!”
So back to his home in the hills he fled
“Don’t never go there,” to all he said
“Fer I jest half to tell ye th’ truth
On a donut I almost broke my tooth.”
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