A Plain Man's Look At Hamlet and Goethe's Faust

Hamlet's story is sad and gory. From the start the outlook's bad. The king, i.e. Hamlet's dad, got bumped off by his loving brother, who then had the nerve to wed Ham's mother. One night Hamlet met his old man's ghost, who said: "My son, while I here roast, your uncle, who murdered me, is having a rave-up for all to see." He added, "I 've got a job for you, my lad, "Do to 'im what he done to your dad." But Hamlet never decisively acted, by doubt and scruples got distracted. So as he dithered things slithered till everyone got killed , alas, 'cept for Horatio and Fortinbras. Goethe's Faust Part One is all about this horny don, who gets browned off by all that learning, for all he's missed in life much yearning. Mephisto, you might say the devil, promises Faust a helluva revel, on one (see the small print) slight condition, After the party it's straight to perdition. Then prancing witches chant "hubble bubble", Faust goes and gets his gal into trouble. (Faust may have knowed an awful lot, but on birth control he weren't too hot). Things get so bad it can't be true They perk up a bit, though, in Faust Part Two