A Mother's Regrets

When I lay down at night and put my weary eyes to rest, that's when my mind begins to put me to the very test. Thinking about the life I've led, how could I let it go? missing my children to the point the pain remains to show. Recalling the memories of taking them to the park to play, Now I have them questioning, "Why did she run away?" I wish they knew how hard it was for me to keep trying, When ever I've called, I've caught your grandma lying. All I wanted was to do the right thing and get them back, When denied that chance, I sadly turned to smoking crack. Moments of escaping the pain which is bound to always return, Why did it seem to take so long what God wanted me to learn. What I would not give to hold my children in my arms again, Never to part, but together a new life we could make begin. I've learned alot of things from my life's many mistakes, To make everything better, trust I'll do whatever it takes. In the future I will take the time to listen to what they say, going outside to watch them when they feel the need to play, Now everytime the call my name I will never again ignore, I promise to always pay attention more than I've done before. Never would I have thought not to have them by my side, ever since I've lost them, a part of me has gone and died.