A Mother's Loss

In the early days, before it sunk in... I gagged on a mother's love, All the time throwing up loss; A blur of people reasoning what can't be. Your knickknacks lay scattered in every room Waiting for you. But now I have time to muse. If I could take you back for just one moment I would hug the smell of you, grasp your hands In mine and hold them up to see delicate fingers move. I would blow gently on your eyes to make them flutter open And watch your mouth slowly broaden into that familiar smile. As your breath returns, mine would be taken away. Hope of the impossible. I can dream. My mornings are still black, graying at the edges When I wake to nothing but the void of you. I'm quiet because I think I might feel or hear you And I don't want to miss you in case you come... Imagined or other wise. Even though I know you have arrived, You've been gone so long already; I still want you to come home to this one. When I walk I walk with you in mind. When I talk You are my full-stop. Everything still starts and ends with you.