Notes About The Poem

 

 

A Miracle

Where the sound of the wind whistled through the cracks in the walls and the door-sills where pots collected rain beneath a leaky roof where some drops  ping-ponged on the empty soup cans resting on the kitchen counter as Autumn turned to Winter seen through white ferns painted by Jack Frost during the night on the window panes where beneath, snow fell through the cracks in the walls and lay glistening on the coat the little girl slept beneath on a cot in a house that even the coal collected from the train-tracks burning in the stove couldn't warm but could leave a trail of black soot on the wall behind the stovepipe in the place the little girl lived and called home for awhile, until the next move, and the next move, and next move, to places much the same, that she also called home, where a broken turquoise robin's egg (in a glass jar), tagged along, forever bringing beauty and joy to the little girls life.



grass and mud a nest
from such humble beginnings
yet the robin flies


____________________________________________________________
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris Avatar
February 21, 2023 at 4:16 AM
Nice poem
Kendrick Avatar
November 3, 2020 at 3:44 AM
Wow!! Such thought penned. I enjoyed reading this one. The ending Haiku opens the door to the whole work. Thanks for dropping by my page. Sara
George   Avatar
November 16, 2020 at 3:32 AM
Thank you for stopping by, dear Sara...and thank you for your kind comments...much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Crabtree Avatar
October 4, 2020 at 5:49 PM
This is beautiful, Elaine. Your words describe a perfect picture for the reader. Saved to read again. Have a great night. :) Love, Angie
George   Avatar
October 11, 2020 at 4:58 AM
Thank you for your comments, Angela...much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Lindley Avatar
September 19, 2020 at 4:53 AM
I have read this yet again. This time finding out who the girl is. Such reality, such a harsh young life lived.. Yet you survived, triumphed and became a gift to others with your writing. That is one of the treasures that life provides. That we may grow, find a better path and thus so shine.. A pleasure to read this fine verse again. God bless.
Ashley Avatar
September 17, 2020 at 8:45 PM
Elaine, your haibun is so beautifully moving. The intimate imagery touches my heart and imagination deeply. Congratulations on your wonderful win. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Somadas Avatar
September 16, 2020 at 11:30 PM
Congrats on your wonderful win Elaine.. Great write..
George   Avatar
September 17, 2020 at 1:30 PM
Thank you so much Jenish. Much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Grimm Avatar
September 13, 2020 at 7:29 PM
A new fave. I enjoy your writing. David
George   Avatar
September 15, 2020 at 4:41 AM
Thank you so much, David.
Dietrich Avatar
September 6, 2020 at 3:27 PM
I see this one was getting other faves, not just from me when I saw it. Maybe it's one of your most popular poems now!
George   Avatar
September 7, 2020 at 6:52 AM
I am always surprised! Thanks, Andrea.
Radhakrishna Avatar
September 5, 2020 at 1:39 PM
Impressed with with this brilliant write! A long sentence too! Such great image and the leaking roofs and the water, we have all experienced that. you are a fab poetess!!
George   Avatar
September 5, 2020 at 6:05 PM
Thank you, Krish. This was my second attempt at writing a Haibun. I am tempted to attempt another one soon.
Tor Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 6:52 PM
Wonderful Haibun.
George   Avatar
September 3, 2020 at 6:10 AM
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my Haibun...and for your kind comments, Michael...very much appreciated.
Devonshire Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 2:48 PM
It must be hard for children to move so much, Elaine. I bet that robin's egg brought her a lot of comfort. (They are such a beautiful color.) The senryu is fabulous too. A fave for me as well. So glad to see you here. Hugs, Carolyn
Marcum Wong Avatar
August 31, 2020 at 9:25 AM
This haibun is so outstanding Elaine. Straight into my faves. Blessings xxoo
George   Avatar
August 31, 2020 at 5:56 PM
Thank you so much for your comments and continued support of my writing, dear Connie...It means so much to me. ~ Elaine
Rose  Avatar
July 14, 2020 at 9:35 PM
Your story touched my heart deeply tonight. You share your story with such vivid description, that one can't help but feel , xo
George   Avatar
July 15, 2020 at 8:05 AM
Thank you so much for your comments, Pixie Dust.
Islam Avatar
July 7, 2020 at 8:54 PM
Beautifully done and it's a very heartfelt write, Elaine. Loved this. Stay safe!
George   Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 6:12 PM
Thank you for your kind comments, Imran...much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Proxenos Avatar
July 4, 2020 at 11:57 AM
You pull at our heartstrings in this write Elaine, but at the same time it is such a heartwarming story - you couldn't possibly shorten this gem my friend - kudos, a sensational piece of poetry. I wrote a narrative called 'LEAVES' which I don't normally write, in fact second time in my life, but I couldn't make that a short poem either. Blessings, Jennifer.
George   Avatar
July 4, 2020 at 12:00 PM
Thank you for stopping by, Jennifer...and for your kind comments. ~ Elaine
Kamoonpuri Avatar
June 23, 2020 at 11:31 AM
Wow the scenes and scenery you have captured and put to pen so awesomely, I love reading the overlooked routine details , real life and so noddable . The sooty trails of life, all so readable. Kudos!! ................. ---- ...Plz pleez do read and comment my newest piece, a prose and do also read the articles and data I have copy pasted in comment section below that poem so you will corroborate the matter further.
Marcum Wong Avatar
June 15, 2020 at 5:25 PM
I see why it would not be possible to shorten this amazing Haibun Elaine. Sometimes it is the little things that are precious to us. I can relate. Beautifully composed! I hope this is a top winner. Blessings xxoo
George   Avatar
June 16, 2020 at 9:40 AM
Thank you dear, Connie. ~Elaine
B. Avatar
June 14, 2020 at 7:03 AM
A heartfelt write, Elaine.. Really enjoyed your superb write.. Sometimes less is more! This is a definite fav for me.. As always your talent shines, my friend.. Many blessings!
George   Avatar
June 15, 2020 at 2:00 AM
Thank you so much, Robertina...much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Callus Avatar
June 7, 2020 at 11:01 AM
Yours was no easy childhood, Elaine; yet you knew no other way of life, and most probably, like many of us of similar age, there was happiness in that simple life, even though deprived of many essential things. Like the robin you flew....a fav for me, my friend. ~ Warm regards // paul
George   Avatar
June 7, 2020 at 10:57 PM
Thank you so much, Paul. Yes! I didn't know I was deprived...it was just the way things were. We were happy with the simple things in life. I cherish this memories. ~ Elaine
Schiavina Avatar
June 4, 2020 at 9:53 AM
Splendid Elaine!
George   Avatar
June 4, 2020 at 2:24 PM
Thank you, dear Frances. Elaine
Mcintosh Avatar
June 2, 2020 at 9:19 PM
WOW... LOVE THIS. It's now a favorite for me. I understand why you wanted to keep it in all it's glory in spite of not being eligible for the contest. It's such a wonderful poem. Love and prayers sent your way, Gina
George   Avatar
June 4, 2020 at 6:45 AM
Thank you so much for your comments, dear Regina...they are very much appreciated. ~ Elaine
Lindley Avatar
June 2, 2020 at 6:33 AM
My friend I rate this superb creation as a ten out of ten. Such a delight to read this fine morn. A definite fav, a true gem.. God bless..
George   Avatar
June 2, 2020 at 6:55 PM
Thank you so much for your kind comments, dear Robert.
Dietrich Avatar
June 1, 2020 at 7:19 PM
This is so special. Too bad there was that word limit on it. you HAVE flown , a beautiful robin with nests full of poetry!
George   Avatar
June 2, 2020 at 6:52 PM
Thank you, Andrea. This is a new poetic form for me. I must say I really like this form and will attempt to write another one at some point.
Proxenos Avatar
May 31, 2020 at 1:27 AM
Very sad Elaine but a story told from your heart - poor little girl, she grasped onto the one thing that she could recognize that brought normality to her life. Blessings, Jennifer.
George   Avatar
June 1, 2020 at 8:53 AM
Thank you for your most appreciated comments Jennifer. It is a true story...that little girl was me. Sincerely ~ Elaine
Johnson-Saunders Avatar
May 30, 2020 at 1:18 PM
Your beautiful haibun pulled at my heartstrings, Elaine...poetry at its best! I can understand why you wouldn't want to remove a single word. I was also going to try write a poem to enter in Line's contest, but it seems near impossible to write a haibun in 40 words or less. I'm glad you were inspired to write this, going to my faves...hugs, Rhonda
George   Avatar
June 1, 2020 at 8:51 AM
Thank you for your most appreciated comments,Rhonda. Sincerely ~ Elaine
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace