A Mere Equilibrium

I want to live and die at the same time, In this asylum, I am nothing but a dime. I pray for the grotesque fame, None, but the Master wants to get me out of playing this game. In this asylum, I live a lie, The river Life is nothing but a gridlocked tie. I want to be alive until I don't want to survive, This phase is not my only witless dive. Is this asylum true, or just a gruesome illusion? I want to bring back my vision. I don't want to live in this ponderous loneliness, I don't want to die until I wilfully confess. This asylum is full of savage desires, I want to submerge myself in my obligations. The river doesn't want to join the ocean of dark necessities, The meander is coming closer to my pertinacity. True wisdom lies in my shadow, Until it stays in my favour. For centuries, I have penned the tales of this asylum, I am nothing but a mere equilibrium.