Cheryl Hoffman | + Follow Poet |
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A Mafia Comedy

Poet heads up note: This poem is rated pg for some violence.


Born into a mafia family,
with his umbilical cord in a knot,
he took his first breath
as his Mom lay on the cot,
his Dad was big, tough and burly,
while his new son
who they called Don
was very small and squirrely,
and most definitely a runt,
As a teenager he tried 
to be tough and to please,
his glasses falling off
every time he sneezed,
Going into his room 
to get buffed up and get muscles,
his 90 lb. frame couldn't take it,
and just like at the sight of blood,
he almost always fainted,
His friend Andy at school
knew Don was always funny,
trying to  protect him
from the bullies taking his lunch
and giving him swirlies,
Easily intimidated, nervous and shy
he'd be at the shooting range
and always miss the bullseye,
Going with his Dad,
on drive-by mafia shootings,
his gun shaking so bad,
he thought he was going to lose it,
So his Dad gave him a switchblade
to cut peoples throats with,
which he kept hidden well in his coat,
but the only courage he could muster up,
was the vomit from his throat,
As much as Don tried,
his Dad knew his son was yellow,
he'd never be like him,
a wise guy or a goodfellow,
so Don left the family business,
and took a bus out to Hollywood,
he didn't miss murdering in the least,
or the miserable mafia neighborhood,
so now he's famous to say the least,
especially with the little kids,
and currently stars in the sitcom,
"the shakiest gun in the east."

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