A Lump To Me Throat

You often hear those fellas who go bragging in the pub,
about women and their conquests, and how they’re the sexual hub,
they spruik about their exploits like they are a gift from God,
of course I end up listening to, the peas from in one pod.

Yeah, they’re out to beat each other with their antics in a bed,
thank God there’s not a woman here, to hear what has been said,
‘cause I’m sure they’d laugh their guts out at the drivel I have heard.
and I never speak off exploits. I say nothing… not a word.

In some ways I’m just like them; these mates who choose to brag,
I’ve had some nights out on the tear, and played the rutting stag,
but I would never tell those mates of mine about one night I had,
when I met this ‘bird’ in Melbourne, who’s looks were not too bad.

We got talking at the bar and so I brought her drinks and tea,
and after downing seven ouzo’s she was making eyes at me,
then she added some suggestions that quite openly I read
as a kind of invitation that she liked to share her bed.

Now those mates of mine with what they said is really second class,
and I know from my experience their acts would barely pass,
but let me tell you in the morning when it’s light I’m taking note,
of a photo on her dresser, that brought a lump into me throat. 

I admit that I was worried with a need to understand,
so I asked her if this photo was her out of town husband,
she laughed and said “No, silly!” And snuggled up again,
but I had to clear the coast… “Is this your boyfriend then?”

She shook her head “No, not at all”, then nibbled on me ear,
“Who is it then?” I asked the lass, to minimize me fear.
She was upfront, she didn’t lie, and there was no perjury,
she kissed me gently then she said “It’s me, before the surgery.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Babcock Avatar
June 27, 2015 at 4:35 PM
You had me right tell the end. Yup that would be one heck of a blow to a fellow. Had me chuckling with this one. love phyl
Williams Avatar
March 15, 2015 at 7:05 AM
Talk about fall in a hole. John
Laurie Avatar
March 21, 2015 at 2:25 AM
G'day John... ha-ha, yes John. Just maybe she was joking. Regards - Lindsay
Ellison Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 5:29 PM
OH!!! Got a huge chuckle at that last line!!! Good one there Lindsay girl... big huggeroonies, Jack xxx
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:37 PM
G'day Jack... have you found yourself in this situation Jack? But then again, how would most of us know. Thanks again for reading my poem Jack. Lindsay
Kendrick Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 12:00 PM
Cute one !! Got a chuckle..Thanks for dropping by..Sara
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:35 PM
Hello Sara... thanks for your comment, and i'll look into you poems again shortly. Regards - Lindsay
Marcum Wong Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 2:41 AM
This was a hoot Lindsey, and it could and has happened!
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:32 PM
G'day there Connie... thanks again for reading and writing a comment, and yes... this situation has cropped up more times than it has been heard about. Regards - Lindsay
Lindley Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 9:13 PM
What a story. I suspect there have been guys fooled and found out too late. A nightmare for sure. Was funny and well written! Thanks , I NEEDED A LAUGH. My mother, very sick in hospital now. Heart surgery on Friday morning, she may not make it.
Allison Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 11:09 PM
My thoughts are with you Robert xxx hugs jan xx
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:29 PM
Hi there Robert... thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I do hope that your Mum's surgery goes well for her. It's always a worrying time in a situation like this. Catch you soon Robert - Lindsay
Hamilton Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 6:36 PM
oh my great poem Lindsay you are a blast of fresh air with your wonderful style and tales keep them coming hugs
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:26 PM
Hi there Shadow... thanks for your comment Shadow. I'll try to keep up a standard of silliness. I'll catch you soon Shadow - Lindsay
Jerden Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 12:07 PM
I kind of saw the "Crocodile Dundee" ending coming, but found it hilarious anyway! Great stuff!
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:22 PM
G'day Roy... thanks for reading and leaving a comment. This yarn does have a hint of truth about it these days, in fact, I've listened to a couple of 'shocked blokes' explain a situation that comes close to this. By the way, I read three poems of yours on a cowboy site. They are very good; we call them bush ballads down here. Thank you Roy - Lindsay
May Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 8:10 AM
Lol....that last line is priceles...Great write
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:16 PM
G'day Joseph... thanks for reading and commenting. Yeah, the end is priceless... if its someone you know; but not you. Catch you soon Joseph - Lindsay
Nunez Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 2:24 AM
Hilarious, Lindsay! You've mastered this type of stories, humorous incidents that can happen in real life! I love ya, girl! A 7! Hugs and smiles...:D Kim
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:06 PM
Hi there Kim... thanks for leaving a comment again. You're dead right, this does happen in real life, in fact, one factual tale that needs some time to explain goes further than this poem with an unbelievable ending. Truth can be stranger than fiction. Catch you later Kim - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 1:29 AM
Absolutely Fabulous Lindsay - I did some footles with Tim Smith and the ending was the same lol:-) Hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 9:00 PM
G'day Jan... Thanks again Jan. I'll check those footles out that you wrote with Tim. Catch you shortly Jan - Lindsay
Wigley Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 1:01 AM
The ultimate bloke's nightmare. Great ending, and, considering the fact that my city is plastered with posters announcing the forthcoming 'Ladyboys of Bangkok' tour, utterly believable. And worrying :) . Great write, Lindsay.
Wigley Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 11:40 PM
I've only ever tried the Adam's apple check once, but I couldn't see it because her beard was in the way......
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 8:57 PM
Hello Viv... Thailand... the first thing you look for is the Adam's Apple. I trust that you'll enjoy the 'Ladyboys of Bangkok' show Viv. At least you know the score there. Regards - Lindsay
Poshiwa Avatar
March 4, 2015 at 12:07 AM
hahaha, what an unexpected end...funny indeed and also quite terrifying . Incredible write.
Laurie Avatar
March 5, 2015 at 8:53 PM
G'day there Herzal... Thanks for reading and writing a comment. It's probably only frightening IF you become aware of the situation OR if your friends find out before you do. Catch you soon Herzel - Lindsay
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace