A Little Gossip

...or In One Ear and Out to the Bridge Club... Everybody likes a little gossip, Everybody likes to hear a bit of dirt. It brightens conversations, And arouses shocked sensations, And might cause some mild vexations, But should never, never, never ever hurt. What the neighbors do should be nobody's business, It's not your fault if they don't keep their curtains drawn. Besides, you're reasonably sure That's what binoculars are for, And if you hide behind your door, What you can see them do by them is never known. The Browns across the street are having problems, He's been sleeping on the couch since New Year's Eve. It seems those last two business trips Involved some extra-marital "slips". You're not adept at reading lips, But gossip needn't be precise to be believed. Yes, everybody likes a little gossip To discuss at lunch, or brunch, or over tea. To be aware of the mistakes That almost everybody makes Is all the skill and guile it takes To be a gossiper, and not a gossipee.