A Lifetime Or Only Yesterday?

It seems a lifetime yet it seems like only yesterday. Really it hasn’t been either. It’s been 6 years. I didn’t know 6 years could seem to be an eternity and at the same time seem like it was only a day ago. I’m no longer angry with you, just blown away that you could make such a decision. I suppose I’m more hurt than anything. I still question what I could have done, I wonder if that will ever change. I still feel responsible I wonder if that too will ever change. I have learned that life is too short to be mad or hold grudges and I’ve learned not to take your family for granted because you never know when things may change. I miss you more than I could ever say, I never knew it was possible to miss someone so much. Sometimes I wish I could just forget it all, and then I realize that this is the meaning of “bitter-sweet”. “Bitter-sweet,” thinking of you and laughing because of the funny times, thinking of you and crying because there will be no more. From this I have learned a lot, yet I have learned very little. I haven’t learned why someone would take their life, I haven’t learned why you did. I haven’t learned what was so wrong, I haven’t learned if I did or didn’t do anything. But what I have learned. I have learned that life is short and we need to live every moment with everything in us. I have learned a dad is someone no one can take the place of. I have learned that forgiveness is vital. I have learned that life is too short to hold grudges because you never know what the next moment may hold. 1/14/07