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A Life Never Saved

Before I go hide,
I shall rest in the tide-
After the waves,
my life I shall save.

I needed this life-
I craved a passion so strong,
knowing all along she’d
become my wife.
Like salt to the sea,
she was meant for me-
But I abandoned my future
at the shore and needed love
....no more.

I am reminded of such a life
when I was just a lone fisherman.
Nothing but the sea and me,
with the whistling breeze-
...but the boat,
it was captured as I
felt the rapture release and
freeze only what my dull
eyes could see.

I felt dreams of things
and reassurance of hate-
It was always my fate to be stuck
on the lake.
But do I regret such choices
I’ve made?
As I watch the chameleon
sunset fade.
Nightmares can masquerade
and light can darken the shade-
I’ve been around a day or two,
there hasn't been a thing
I haven’t lived through.

She gave me a baby girl,
she wore long brown curls-
Sincerity of her gestures brought
fear inside my soul,
now it’s just too late and my
depth no longer whole.
I stole my own world the day
I sailed away-
and now in the dusk
...there’s nothing left to say.

She died and I lied when I said
I felt no regret-
but the days of abandonment I
shall never forget.
Where is she now,
in the light of the afterlife?
oh, my beautiful lonely ridden
wife.

I drown and go down,
while I linger and float.
The sound of my song,
I’m just a singer on a boat.

But the pebbles on the shore
don’t crave me anymore-
They are lost in the waves...
...and my life never saved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My poem "A Life Never Saved" is about a lonely fisherman who was always at work at the sea. He fell in love and she became his loyal wife. The more responsibility he had at home the longer time he spent out on the sea. He kept using excuses that they needed money, but deep down he knew that wasn't the real reason. The real reason was fear. They had a baby and less time was spent at home, if that was even possible. Eventually he became so distant he left for good and once again, was nothing but a lonely fisherman with no one in his life. He felt he did not deserve happiness or a loving family. His wife died unexpectedly and he pretended to feel no remorse or guilt but deep down he knew he never would deserve redemption or forgiveness from his daughter. Now his daughter has no mother, or a father.

The poem starts off on a positive note, then gradually fades into sorrowful toned verses. I wrote this poem actually because of a dream I had one night. I have no idea what it meant, but I woke up and started writing. This is what I ended up writing at 3: 00 am.

There are 61 lines in this poem, but probably about 30 if I used a different layout.

How long can poetry go contest
Jamie Pan
January 12, 2017

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