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A Life Lost

A Life Lost blue ocean waters jewel- like fishes abode old sucker -cat dies.. *my sweet n brave goldy(golden sucker cat fish)dies of white spot disease . :-(

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Jim Pemberton

Date: 2/2/2013 10:37:00 AM

Nice Haiku... Nicely written! Thank you for your comments! Blessing to you!

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 2/5/2013 10:28:00 AM

thanks Jim

Bl Devnath

Date: 1/31/2013 9:10:00 AM

Wonderful haiku caught with nice observation. Thanks for your comment on my write. Loved always, bl

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 2/1/2013 7:07:00 PM

thanks devnath

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 1/29/2013 7:31:00 PM

I like the direction you took this, sorry about the cat fish though.

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/29/2013 11:08:00 PM

thanks Richard, I think you got what I took on...I looked from general to specific....ocean to fish tank, the reverse order actually...

Bukang Liwayway

Date: 1/29/2013 8:51:00 AM

oh so sad your fish died...hate that disease. Thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by. Have a good day always! Hugs, Maria

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/29/2013 11:06:00 PM

thanks Maria...

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 1/29/2013 7:28:00 AM

Okies new friend now that I know what you were going for...[first 5/7/5 is fine..it's less of a problem than subjective content and a lack of two part,so, do 5/7/5 if you want] you have a better chance at a good haiku if you write it from an actual experience. haiku writters often carry a small notebook and daily LOOK for inspiring things or surprising things in nature to write about. So it was a great thing you were writing from your immediate feelings and not all memory.

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/29/2013 11:03:00 PM

Thanks Debbie for your valuable comments....my beginner haikus...yes, it was an instant write...I enjoy writing haikus and I value your inputs,thanks ....

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/29/2013 7:34:00 AM

my golden fish dies/ in the bowl he lived in--rainfalls outside [here I gave the reader the image you SAW, and by adding a believable image of rain outside..I have lent sorrow and the illusion of tears, we know the fish is in a glass bowl, can see through it and can picture it sitting in a window]

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/29/2013 7:34:00 AM

even though this may not be the real scene it is believable. It is not believable that an ocean is there though we could work to make it so..

Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/29/2013 4:36:00 AM

Sorry to hear of your fish dying..Sometimes if one notices in time there is some treatment for them..I enjoy watching fish in a tank but then sometimes I think that it might be not good for them to be penned up like that..Great Haiku topic and great presentation..Enjoyed reading this morning..Thanks for stopping by..Sara

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/29/2013 11:05:00 PM

Iam glad you liked it...

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/29/2013 11:04:00 PM

Thanks a lot Sara...I appreciate your comments...

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/28/2013 7:41:00 PM

WEre you keeping him in a pond? or a fish bowl? Interesting to see someone who had a pet fish!!

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/28/2013 10:23:00 PM

in a fish tank...thanks for the visit Andrea

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 1/28/2013 7:33:00 PM

Mehnaz, poor cat.. was he reaching in? a good haiku... Take care . Have yourself a good night :-) always~ LINDA

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/28/2013 10:24:00 PM

...thanks for the visit ,Linda....

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 1/28/2013 6:23:00 PM

don't capitalize, was this your fish in a fish tank? let me know what you were really looking at..Light & Love

Mehnaz Veetil
Date: 1/28/2013 10:28:00 PM

Thanks Debbie I shall modify it...the golden sucker -cat-fish died in the fish tank after years of quiet life...he was a nice one ....thanks for the visit....