A life less lived eulogy

Born in Glasgow And he almost spoke the King's English. He became a man of letters Some of them even spelled korrectly A teacher to trade. What did he teach? Probably very little. He was known as the cure for insomnia Whenever he dared to launch into an anecdote For some time he dabbled in verse Which sadly went from bad to worse His weak attempts at versifying Were far from being gratifying What was even a much bigger crime Were his feeble efforts at trying to rhyme And his wonky use of metre Just was not the least bit better. His most engaging hobby was bridge More bridge over troubled waters And one many wish he had never crossed. At any get together he was always the last To be asked to sing The signal for guests to go and get their coats.