A House That Was Never Built

There is a house on a tree-lined street with beautiful pink roses blooming over a white picket fence, there are children playing in the yard and laughing almost as if they exist There is a stone path walkway leading up to a wraparound front porch with a swing swaying in the breeze, as though someone just stepped away for a moment and the birds, they’re beautifully chirping There is a welcome mat in front of the door with your last name and now mine, a symbol of the promise that you made to me long ago on a warm summer night As I enter the foyer to the left are the stairs, and as I climb them, I can see the memories staring back at me of the years and the life that we have built there So many beautiful memories and smiles on faces that the two of us made together, another promise that you had made to me long ago more like a dream that you wanted, a part of our forever As I look at these pictures hanging on the wall why can’t I remember them in my mind? Surely, I was there that’s my face smiling back at me as your hand is holding mine Wedding pictures of the happiest day of my life, your lips upon mine after the vows we took, and I became your wife Children changing and growing through the years behind the grains of photographs, how can I not recognize them they have our smiles, our faces, I can clearly see that At the top of the landing, I see our room that we share, our bed, the place where we make love to one another each night the place where you hold me to your chest and I lay my head I see your clothes hanging in the closet tucked in right next to mine, I see your shoes, your watch, your personal belongings, so tell me why this isn’t right? Why am I seeing this and it’s so tangible but in my heart, I know it isn’t real, please tell me why my heart is aching from within and that is all that I can feel? Why are these tears streaming down my face but your not here to wipe them away? Where are you my love, why am I seeing my life this way? I can feel the bed beneath my fingers, I can smell your scent on my skin, I can hear your voice inside these walls but your nowhere to be found within I can see these pictures of a life that we supposedly have but I can’t find you anywhere, only the promises that you made to me long ago remain in the place of you there I don’t want to only see these visions I want to live them out in color; I don’t need to dream of a world where you’re my lover I see it every day in my mind but my love, this seems so real, please tell me that I’m not dreaming that you’re here Come to me, be with me and lie with me on this bed, whisper sweet nothings to me again as you once did Make me believe that this is our reality, this is the promise to me that you once made, please don’t crush my heart and take this all away Don’t tell me that none of this truly exists, that I am only dreaming of an altered reality where we could have had all of this I’m going to walk downstairs past the pictures, the memories hanging on the wall, I’m going to step out onto the porch and listen for the sound of your voice, your laughter, anything at all I’m going to walk down the pathway and drive back down the tree-lined street and believe in my heart that what I seen was real and not just my heart playing tricks on me.