A Good Christian

A Good Christian By Elton Camp Note: This is about a churchy, hypocritical woman talking on the phone to another woman. She is slandering a third member of their church. I couldn’t believe that dress she wore Anybody would think she’s a whore Even for her, it was a big surprise The hem was halfway up her thighs Her neckline was a daring as could go It surely shows that her morals are low And the pearl necklace she picked out Those gems were paste, there’s no doubt Her ring with a diamond that’s so large Is either a phony or she got it on charge Wanda’s fancy watch showed “Rolex,” But surely she changed it from “Timex” And those hose were tinted a dark blue That’s what a loose woman would do Those shoe heels were six inches tall And red isn’t the right shoe color at all Also, her breasts are the largest you see Another Dolly Parton she’s trying to be A plastic surgeon must’ve helped her out Those things are silicone I’ve little doubt If she should die, to hell she’ll depart But yet I still love her, bless her heart I’ll see you at the church on Sunday But don’t tell Wanda anything I say