A Gang of Sparrows


               From my bus window-
in unison,  all at once  a  g a n g  of tiny brown sparrows 
     hovered, and then perched on BARE branches
of a small tree-
         they hung on like  t r e m b l i n g  brown  leaves,
in the WIND -  exactly the same
   then,  the throng left-
                           winging in unison . . . 

_____________________
April 7, 2017

Verse/A Gang Of Sparrows
Copyright Protected, ID 890586
 

Open Poetry Contest 2
Charlotte Jade Puddifoot


Sixth Place
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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De Beaulieu Avatar
April 29, 2017 at 2:37 PM
Broken Wing This is a beautiful poem. A 7
Pigeon Tart Avatar
April 22, 2017 at 12:31 PM
Back to congratulate you ;) hugs! mo
Puddifoot Avatar
April 17, 2017 at 2:43 PM
a very effective, descriptive little piece - love the sparrows as 'trembling brown leaves', that's exactly what they look like, and i could see them as surely as you saw them while travelling on the bus...the poem doesn't over-think itself, or try to be clever or obscure, it just allows the snapshot moment to happen on the page...you gave me different, and it paid off - congrats on your win in my contest!
Richards Avatar
April 17, 2017 at 1:10 PM
This small poem is a piece of art, Constance. And with such a quietness, I have witnessed the brown sparrows with my own mind's eye. Lovely !! Congrats to you!
Lindley Avatar
April 13, 2017 at 5:02 PM
NATURE, ITS BEAUTY CLEARLY REFLECTED IN BIRDS, SINGING AND FLIGHT. I love sparrows because they are so refined in how they interact and move in this huge scary world. Your verses golden my friend. So much said in such few verses! A7 and a fav...
Vinson Avatar
April 11, 2017 at 11:28 PM
Back to read this one again - one of my favorites. : )
Marie Avatar
April 10, 2017 at 10:47 PM
Your words bring these cute 'sparrows' to life:) The imagery is so sweet, I wonder 'how' they don't blow away and stay together. A charming write:) fave, 7+ lynnxxx
Stebbings Avatar
April 10, 2017 at 1:34 PM
It's amazing how they all flock together, BW, nicely portrayed. Sadly we don't have as many sparrows as we used to. // Barry
Lamoureux Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 7:57 AM
I'm imagining the little guys wearing tiny leather jackets!
La France Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 8:59 AM
Richard, thanks for the cute comment and for visiting.
Goff Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 5:10 AM
A most enjoyable moment....when words come easily to share magic witnessed....very nice, Constance
La France Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 9:00 AM
Hi James, yes we must take time to look around us at the beauty, thanks for reading my poem.
Dietrich Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 8:40 PM
Constance, I LOVE that final line. So pretty and also loved the imagery of the birds hanging like brown leaves. Sure hope you score with this one. Wish I could come up with free verse like she likes.
La France Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 9:04 AM
Andrea thanks for the compliment on my poem, will it was in a flash as the bus passed but it inspired me.. even if I do not place it does not diminish the beauty of my poem and I love it, while most are looking down at their cell phones, I look out the window.
Smith Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 1:48 PM
As with one mind...Thanks for sharing BW.
La France Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 3:14 PM
Charles isn't it amazing the beauty within our vision that is there then gone.
Green Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 1:20 PM
Really nice, I love the picture this creates in my mind.
La France Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 3:15 PM
Chris it was just a flash, but there were so many they filled that little tree.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 1:19 PM
Me likes :) xomo!
La France Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 3:16 PM
Maureen, just a quick little vision that inspired me
Vinson Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 1:10 PM
Makes me smile, Constance. : ) Great images.
La France Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 3:17 PM
Doug I just love little sparrows
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