A Delicate Flower Promise

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A bouquet of jasmines and gardenias hangs Their fragrance losing ambrosial whiffs; A death of his loyalty truly wrought Where crackle of night marks a bridal vow’s end-- How I , in sunken despair stand alone On the aisle of innumerable regret ; For my maiden name is unchanged When a man betrothed chooses a turnabout… And delicate flowers’ promise grasps the tears Until their luster pales into ashen hues Upon my hands , a collapse of nuptial splendor: How naïve of me to ignore his gazes, uncertain When those eyes bland as torn petals falter~ While gaunt cluster I hold tonight... drops on the chapel floor. For Laura Loo: Verses Of Metaphor ll ------------------- 10/4/2018

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



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Date: 10/8/2018 8:55:00 AM
Nette, you masterfully pen beauty in the brokenness. I love this inside-outside feel that takes you from what’s sadly evident and obvious to the deeper dark despair of internal combustion. The contrast of sweet fragrance and the death of love (and even hope).. Brilliance!!
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Date: 10/7/2018 8:59:00 PM
Well penned, nette. Beautifully dramatic. Congrats on your well deserved top win.
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Date: 10/7/2018 1:22:00 PM
What a beautiful sad verse, Nette, I can feel the deep emotional pain. Congrats on your win. John
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Date: 10/4/2018 8:06:00 PM
A very succint coverage of a longish period of time. A way to describe destruction and make it feel really bad. I was recently at a cemetery, and while I didn’t stay, there were a lot of browned and dried flower petals.
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Date: 10/4/2018 4:58:00 AM
Lovely write my friend...Ready for a Top Win!...love & light...^WW^
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Date: 10/4/2018 2:39:00 AM
No shortage of metaphors' in your sad verse Nette. Beautifully written. Tom
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Date: 10/3/2018 3:25:00 PM
Sad tale, but masterfully crafted. You have a truly lovely way of turning a phrase! ;) Good luck in the contest!
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Date: 10/3/2018 2:59:00 PM
Oh so sad and beautifully written Nette. Well done :)
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Date: 10/3/2018 2:25:00 PM
Lovely metaphors ..excellent depiction in brilliant style..well done, friend. A winner for me.
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Date: 10/3/2018 2:17:00 PM
Beautifully done Nette. I like how you started this up and let us down slowly and gently. I could feel that sadness building as it came to the end.
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