Jeremy Smith Poet Shape

A Deadly Storm

**********************************************************   
  The winds blow,**********************************the clouds grow.  
              The fear,********************************starts to show! Nobody, knows what*****************************this storm holds. 
        It might bend,******************************but it wont fold. 
              The funnel,****************************starts to mold. 
        The sirens blow,***************************your blood turns cold. 
                    The heart,***********************slows!
            Its time to get low,******************let it go!
                   There is, no end***************to this show.
   The emotional distress,***********you will undergo. 
                      Like a*********killer flow!
     Praying, from********heavens below. 
        Hoping,********it goes!.
              Forever,********leaving woes. 
                   It intended,********to impose.
                     Life decomposed,********as secrets are exposed.
                             Memories corrode,*******while bonds erode.
                                     There's no more,******humble abode.
                                               As, the*******houses implode!
                           The neighborhood,*****explodes!
                     Now what waits ahead,*****is a long road.
                                         
                                 5/15/2017

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Lewis Raynes February 20, 2018 at 5:48 PM i've never been in such a storm, but this write sort of takes me through one nicely, thanks Jeremy

Eve Roper June 3, 2017 at 11:30 AM This is wonderful, Jeremy, I love the theme and the emotion you've displayed ~* Jeremy Smith June 3, 2017 at 11:40 AM Thank you, Eve :) I grew up in Illinois. Fortunately, I have never had to endure the destruction and dismay. But it did take place, quite a few times in near by areas. So I have seen what it can do, with my own eyes.

Darren White May 16, 2017 at 1:11 PM Jeremy, I know you like criticism. But honestly, the concrete has a frightening, wonderful form, the rhyme is almost monorhyme, which is quite difficult, and for the rest? It is a free verse concrete, and you can express yourself in the best way possible. And so you did. I have nothing negative to say, honestly :)

Anne-Lise Andresen May 16, 2017 at 4:07 AM - A really great poem, Jeremy ... a lot of work in shaping :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Darren White May 16, 2017 at 2:44 AM THAT is a wonderful concrete, Jeremy, love it, frightening stom.