A Daily Facade

I see your name I sit here still With hands cold and pale The effects of a pill My stomach is empty My mind all a blur What do those twenty three words mean? I am not sure. The first thing of you That I've seen in some time You used to be at this table with me It sure was sublime It was very unexpected To see words from you That's something I have missed But this is nothing new Now you are different As am I I wish I still knew you Dear old friend of mine I'm not sure when it happened Or how it occurred But I guess I fell for you Of this I'm pretty sure You're always in my mind No matter what I do No matter who I'm with Why do I wish he were you? I can't stop thinking About everything that was said You were so important to me I guess now I must just look ahead But in the past Is where my heart lives now It lives in the memory of us That's all my mind will allow When we walked on water It seems like ages ago But how quickly I forget That just isn't so This isn't to try and get you back That ship has sailed I tried for some time But those attempts failed. This is simply To tell you how I feel Tell you where I stand To let you know what's real In the rare case you're wondering, I am doing well I'm so sorry I upset you I didn't mean to make you yell So I guess you now know I miss you And honestly do not know what to do You're never out of my mind I thought I was through So it's hard, you see Because no matter what I do or how I say I am, I'm not as I appear to be.