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A Daily Facade

I see your name 
I sit here still 
With hands cold and pale 
The effects of a pill

My stomach is empty 
My mind all a blur 
What do those twenty three words mean? 
I am not sure. 

The first thing of you 
That I've seen in some time 
You used to be at this table with me 
It sure was sublime 

It was very unexpected 
To see words from you 
That's something I have missed 
But this is nothing new 

Now you are different
As am I
I wish I still knew you 
Dear old friend of mine 

I'm not sure when it happened 
Or how it occurred 
But I guess I fell for you
Of this I'm pretty sure 

You're always in my mind 
No matter what I do 
No matter who I'm with 
Why do I wish he were you?

I can't stop thinking 
About everything that was said 
You were so important to me 
I guess now I must just look ahead 

But in the past 
Is where my heart lives now 
It lives in the memory of us 
That's all my mind will allow 

When we walked on water
It seems like ages ago
But how quickly I forget  
That just isn't so

This isn't to try and get you back 
That ship has sailed 
I tried for some time 
But those attempts failed.  

This is simply 
To tell you how I feel
Tell you where I stand 
To let you know what's real 

In the rare case you're wondering,
I am doing well 
I'm so sorry I upset you 
I didn't mean to make you yell

So I guess you now know I miss you
And honestly do not know what to do 
You're never out of my mind
I thought I was through 

So it's hard, you see 
Because no matter what I do 
or how I say I am, 
I'm not as I appear to be.

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