A Crime They'D See More Of, Part Iii
“If you are reading this note then I have
succeeded in trying to kill myself,
which means that I have killed the people who
did this to me, so my story I’ll tell.
“You’re wondering how I got to this place,
you’re asking why I was driven to kill,
it started when I was thirteen, confused,
a teenager of quite uncertain of will.
“Like most kids I didn’t understand much,
and my dear mother just made it worse,
always off crusading on some woke cause,
after dad left, I think it gave her worth.
“She was always talking about the folk
who’d had a real rough time living their life,
‘unprivileged people,’ she just worshipped them,
as if they all could do nothing but right.
“When she realized that I didn’t fit in
with most of the other children at school,
she declared I too must be ‘made different,’
in her eyes that made me special and cool.
“I even thought that maybe I was gay
since I didn’t really like sports and such,
and Miss Lyle helped to encourage me,
in class she always promoted that stuff.
“The transgenders were then much in style,
those were the ‘oppressed folks’ marching back then,
Mom and Netty talked it up ’til I believed
5hat deep down I also was one of them.
“And rather than sit my young self right down,
and make it quite clear that I was a male,
they said I had to ‘trust in my feelings,’
nudging me right down the path without fail.
“Until when I was just turned fifteen years
I decided that I must be female,
Springfeld said that he’d make me a woman,
it was ‘affirming’, and he wouldn’t fail.
“Did my mother try to stop minor me,
sid she protect me, who could not consent?
Teenagers change their midns like they change clothes,
and grown adults know that, so why back then
“did she just cheerlead me to get the cut,
and without pause call me ‘daughter’ after?
Was that what she wanted when I was born?
Or did having a ‘trans’ kid excite her?
“Now my voice is high, I cannot grow beards,
with brittle bones, no orgasms can I have.
I stopped the hormones, I say that I’m male,
but it’s too late, the damage is too bad.
“There’s no point living when I can’t feel joy,
my future was taken from me when young,
those who said they loved me served me up raw,
that’s why I had to do what I have done."
Anton just folded up the man’s letter,
he was quite tired, and had seen enough,
how many more ‘Alans’ faced such a fate,
this was a crime that they would see more of…
Copyright © David Welch | Year Posted 2023
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