A Conversation With the Gingerbread House Witch

“Thank you so much for your time today, I hope this article can at least try to allay some of the vitriol and online hate you’ve received when, let’s face it, you’re the one who was deceived. I must say you do have a gorgeous house. So inviting. I can certainly see why children find it exciting. Can I ask if the walls are held together with sticky toffee? Is the garden soil really ice-cream flavoured coffee? I told my editor I didn’t need Google Maps to find this place… believe me, the sweet scent of bubble-gum was easy to trace! But unlike those two rude little thugs, I didn’t steal and I didn't eat one sugared door handle, nor the chocolate post-box out on the street. I’m here to get your side of the story, to get on the record your words, so that Mr Hansel and Ms Gretel can finally get their just desserts.” “That’s ever so kind. I relish the chance to speak to someone new. Please, take some liquorice tasting pebbles from outside to suck on or chew. It’s the least I can give because your treat is now a trick, too: like the others, you saw my gingerbread house but didn’t smell the oven, did you?”