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A Cats Letter To Santa Claws

Dear Santa Claws, please bring me a new catnip mousey; my old one has so many holes that the nip won’t stay in and I can’t eat it all in one day; it gives me the munchies and a headache.

I also need another collar, one without bells; I don’t want the dog and mice to know where I am; they don’t respect my privacy.  I can’t surprise them and Butch, the dog, loves for me to pounce on his head while he’s asleep.

For a dog, Butch is okay, I guess but I doubt you’ll bring him anything ‘cause he’s been bad this year; oh, but if you do, he wants a new bed, I accidentally peed in it last week, five times. 

Oh, and please bring Mommy a new winter scarf; since I pulled out all of the fringe on her favorite one, she’s been a little irritable.  A nice bottle of wine, would help too, in case I accidentally damage the new one; really, I’m a good cat but, fringe gets a real thrill out of teasing me until I snap.

So, Santa Claws, stop by and I’ll leave some kibble and milk out for you but, please don’t leave any face fur in it; Butch nearly choked to death on a piece last year and I got blamed for it.

Thank you,
Sheba, the good cat.

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Caren Krutsinger

Date: 12/10/2018 7:53:00 PM

You are a bad bad cat, Sheba, for blaming your friend Butch for peeing on your cat bed five times. I have been told by reindeer who know that it was you,not Butch, so for that, I may be bringing you a couple of lumps of coal. Sorry, but I really do believe dogs over cats any day. Sincerely, The Man in Red

M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/12/2018 4:46:00 AM

Cats are unique; they will try anything, literally. Glad you enjoyed the poems.

Anna Hopper

Date: 12/8/2018 8:39:00 AM

Dead! Awesome

M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/10/2018 7:12:00 AM

Great! Thanks so much and Happy Holidays to you.

Rhona Mcferran

Date: 12/7/2018 6:15:00 AM

Hahahaha! Had to get the "other side" of the story... from Sheba "the good cat"! Another delightful write! Glad you posted them in this order, because this is so funny after hearing things from the dog's perspective. Great work! ;)

M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/7/2018 7:12:00 AM

Thanks Rhona; having lived with dogs and cats all of my life; it was easy to imagine. Glad you stopped by.