A Carrot Named Earl

I was really having trouble deciding on a pet Exactly what I wanted I wasn’t sure just yet I pondered and I pondered until I couldn’t bear it Then it finally came to me, I’ll get a baby carrot Now I did not expect to have just any orange sprout It took a lot of looking to pick the right one out By the time I picked one out, my head was in a whirl But he was sure a cutie and I quickly named him Earl Earl can be a character and he is quite a riot But when I’m watching TV, he’s always very quiet Earl won’t watch the Gourmet Chef, in fact he really hates him It’s because one day he cooked some carrots and he ate them Earl always keeps a tidy room and never makes a mess He never gives me trouble and I really must confess The few times he’s been naughty and had to have a whack He took it well and never even thought of talking back I recently brought home for Earl a little carrot friend I think it was a big mistake that bit me in the end When I got home from work today I caught him kissing Earl And then it finally dawned on me, my carrot is a girl