A Bright Young Fellow Named Ernest

A bright young fellow named Ernest Went to med school to be an internist. But the sight of insides Gave him really bad vibes, So he took up accounting in earnest. A shifty young lawyer named Stan Came up with a devious plan To avoid paying taxes Through complex finances, But was told that his plan wouldn't stand. A beginner in fencing named Perry Was finding that swordplay was scary. "Not to belabor But it's defective, my saber! It thrusts but refuses to parry!" An anemic young lady named Madeline Became increasingly maudlin When she came to discover That her boyfriend and lover Would sleep through the day in his coffin. A lady tourist named Lisa Fell from the Tower of Pisa. On the way down She thought thoughts profound And remembered to renew her visa. A deadbeat gambler named Owen Ran into the guys he was owing Who, with style and with ease, Broke both his knees, After asking him, "Hey, how's it going?" A big rock-and-roll star was Ben, But now just a 90's has-been. The girls and their aunties Would throw him their panties, But now no more groupies has Ben. ("What's in a name" contest entry)