A Blessing

Today is the six-month mark And that reality is stark. How am I still standing? It must be a big misunderstanding. A mother’s heart cannot bear that kind of pain, To survive, I hold on to the past in vain. I relive the past thirty years, The good, the bad, and the ugly, and it is so very clear. To this mama’s heart, you were a blessing, Even the air was more refreshing. The sky was bluer and the rain was gentler. Now, my whole world is off-center, Nothing shines as bright as your smile. You mastered those dimples with style. Never boisterous, just steadfast and bold, Always adventurous and never afraid of the open road. With a heart that always looked for the good, I would gladly trade all my tomorrows if I could, To have you still here until your hands are worn and old, To have you carry the pain of your mother’s last breath, In the order of what should have been gives us strength. I wake up each day to start the nightmare in a different way, The tears continue to fall, much to my dismay. That is the reality of losing you too soon, I will continue to try to heal my deep wound, The one left wide open with your goodbye. Try as I can, I cannot deny The tears, the heartbreak, and grief Will continue as long as I have breath. But I will make sure to welcome the sunshine at times, Cause you are with me at my side, A ghost of your former self, In another dimension, but still making my heart melt.