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A Bit of Humour For the Weekend

STACE

A  girl runner by the name of Stace
Ran the annual marathon race
near the end of the run
Both laces come undone
She stumbled and fell flat on her face.

OLD SAILOR

An old sailor was out on the ocean
It was choppy and he felt a motion
Had some curry last night
But the taste wasn't right
Down below felt a muffled explosion.

SUE   ROSE                  

A young lady by the name of Sue Rose 
Hoped that a man to her would propose 
Couldn't understand why
All the men were so shy
Then in the mirror saw hairs in her nose.

ABDUL

Bush safari went Abdul with eight wives 
Parked on a hillside for lunch to eat chives
Then to their dismay
Their jeep rolled away
Heard lions roaring and ran for their lives.

BLACK  BILL

An undertaker in Dodge called Black Bill
To boost his business people he would kill
But one man wasn't dead 
Shot Black Bill in the head
Now in a grave he lies up at Boot Hill.

FREDERICK STARK

A skinny dipper called Frederick Stark
Went for a swim in the sea, it was dark
Da Dum he could hear
It filled him with fear
Then in moonlight saw the fin of a shark.

JOCK

A Scotchman who was known as Big Jock
Went out walking one day by the Loch
A gust of wind blew
And up his kilt flew 
Some passing girls were left in deep shock.


Written 2nd August 2019.

Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2019

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Tania Kitchin Date: 8/20/2019 4:53:00 AM Tom these are very funny and clever! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/27/2019 10:21:00 AM Thanks very much Tania, I'm glad you enjoyed them. Tom.

Richard Lamoureux Date: 8/7/2019 9:19:00 AM These are all so much fun! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/7/2019 9:51:00 AM Thank you Richard, happy you liked them. Tom

Timothy Mcguire Date: 8/5/2019 6:24:00 PM Absolutely FAB! I love limericks. FAVs for me. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/6/2019 4:25:00 AM Thanks Timothy and for the fav. Tom

Eve Roper Date: 8/5/2019 12:58:00 PM I got my laughter today.. Enjoyable read, Tom. Hugs dear friend Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/5/2019 1:17:00 PM Thanks Eve, I'm hakiu I gave you a laugh. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 8/5/2019 8:34:00 AM - I'm glad I waited until Monday ... start another week with laughter ... :) ... like them all :) - hugs //Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/5/2019 11:15:00 AM Thank you Anne, happy I gave you a laugh. Tom.

Gershon Wolf Date: 8/4/2019 7:27:00 PM These are all quite good, my friend. But I think that 'Old Sailor' tops them all, a masterpiece! That muffled explosion has me exploding. ~ gw Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/5/2019 5:07:00 AM Thank you Gershon, haha liked that one too. My wife makes a nice curry, I know what's gone into it lol. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 8/4/2019 4:42:00 AM Tom, you must have a book published with all your limericks - you really have great talent for this and not only are they humorous for the weekend but for the week to come - well penned my friend. Blessings, Jennifer. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/4/2019 5:50:00 AM Thanks Jennifer, I'll see how many I have and take it from there. Glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis Date: 8/4/2019 3:04:00 AM My good friend, Tom, that much humour is too much just for the weekend. I need at least a week to enjoy it in small doses. Hahaha. Superb Limericks . I am charged with humour and the smile on my face would last till next Sunday. Thank you! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/4/2019 5:48:00 AM Thank you Demetrios, visiting Limerick certainly paid off. Tom.

Lindsay Laurie Date: 8/3/2019 11:02:00 PM G'day Tom … you haven't lost your touch have you. A nice set of light hearted limericks indeed - thanks Tom - Lindsay Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/4/2019 1:56:00 AM Thank you Lindsay, happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom.

Nette Onclaud Date: 8/3/2019 4:21:00 PM enjoting all these lims, tom... again your funny side shines!... huggs Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/4/2019 1:55:00 AM Thanks so much Nette, pleased you liked them. Tom.

Robert L. Hinshaw Date: 8/3/2019 10:29:00 AM Tom, I love great lims and these are GREAT lims Bob! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 1:47:00 PM Thank you Bob, your comment very much appreciated. Tom

Warren Doll Date: 8/3/2019 10:24:00 AM Great laughs for a Saturday . You made my day. Thanks Tom~ Warren Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 1:46:00 PM Thank you Warren, happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom

John Gondolf Date: 8/3/2019 9:41:00 AM What a great way to start out my Saturday, Tom, enjoyed them John Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 1:45:00 PM Thanks John, we all need a bit of humour in our lives, helps you to forget the gloom we all encounter from time to time. Tom

Jan Allison Date: 8/3/2019 9:17:00 AM giggles galore Tom, thanks for tears of laughter!!:-) hugs jan xx Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 1:43:00 PM Thanks Jan ,glad I gave you a laugh, of course you were my inspiration to write one in the first place. Tom

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart Date: 8/3/2019 8:57:00 AM Giggles! Enjoyed! Thank you Tom, a lovely weekend to you! xomo Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 1:39:00 PM Thank you very much Maureen, and I wish you the same. Tom

Arturo Michael Date: 8/3/2019 7:06:00 AM I liked Jock, Sue Rose, and Stace...Well done Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 7:16:00 AM Thanks Arturo, happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom.

Vijay Pandit Date: 8/3/2019 6:40:00 AM Hilarious..a lot of fun..enjoyed the read Tom. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 6:46:00 AM Thanks Vijay, glad that you enjoyed them. Tom

Panagiota Romios Date: 8/3/2019 5:34:00 AM You are really great at limericks, Tom Panagiota Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 8/3/2019 5:41:00 AM Thank you Panagiota, love a bit of humour and love to share it too, there is too much gloom in the world. Tom