A Big Problem

Once there was a famous king, More famous than Ozymandias. His name was King Wolf. Sultan was his nickname. He called himself a benevolent despot; And his style of government A ‘democratic dictatorship.’ He spoke good English— A foreign language, though; Only a minor problem with 'l' and 'r': Once, for instance, a reporter asked him, "What about elections, Your Majesty?" His response: "Why, I have them everyday!" The poor reporter was thoroughly confused. His kingdom was a land of superlatives: The oldest civilization, The largest standing army, The largest population, The largest exporter—of people, The largest emitter of carbon dioxide, Now the second largest exporter of goods, too, And will soon be the largest. Since his was the most populous kingdom, Demography was his obsession, Which he called his specialization. Of course, Sultan had tried his best To check population growth— By means of family planning. It didn't work. So he curbed people’s Right to have children. But still there was a huge difference Between the optimum number And ground reality! Therefore, Sultan hatched a wonderful plan: Started a war with a friendly neighbour. Every section of twenty soldiers in his army Had just one primitive rifle between them: If a soldier went on, He would be shot. If he went back, Again, he would be shot. A Catch-22! Many of his men were slaughtered. But still Sultan won—by sheer numbers! Oh, God! But the King did not believe in God. Like king, like people! But the dead soldiers were only a small number. So, now another plan: Government is the boss. Let people overwork. Sultan cracked the whip. And a number of people died— Of overwork, year after year. Further reduction in population. Production increased: Cheap goods flooded the world market: From PCs to push-up bras. No warranty. The economy boomed. Ah, his kingdom became a Big Power! But once some workers gathered In the Capital and protested— Against exploitation. The name of Karl Marx was in the air. “Listen,” Sultan roared, “Marx died— Long ago. So should you—now, For raising his name in vain.” So, still further reduction in population! Now, when this narrative ended, Sultan was busy, planning for another war. Poor soul! How else could he solve the problem— Of overpopulation?! ***