The Lady Vanishes

The man I married always said he loved me for my mind Pretty soon I met his friends and left my own behind It wasn’t long before he said that ‘wife’ was short for ‘minion’ And then one day he raised his hand and told me my opinion He said he’d help me rectify the things I like to do My politics apparently were just ‘a point of view’ And women shouldn’t vote because they voted on a whim He offered up some new ideals that I could share with him I should have understood the skirt I wore to catch his eye Suggested I was anyone’s by showing too much thigh He screeched, “You wear my wedding ring, explain that if you can Can’t you just be happy to belong to just one man.” And so it was that that short skirt became coordinated Looking back, I think that colour matching’s overrated That skirt in purple satin which was split to tease the guys Now complemented perfectly… the purple ’round my eyes But once I’d learned my lesson and I recognised my flaws I truly tried to tell him, “I will be forever yours.” Of course I felt diminished, like a piece of me was gone But I decided I would self correct and just move on Funny, how that one decision left me three foot three But I had pledged my troth to him and he’d pledged his to me It must have been at least a week before I got a text It came from an old friend… I guess you know what happened next * “And so, M’lud, I stand here as an almost empty shell Yes, I used a carving knife to send that man to hell But in my own defence I say that nobody can shrink Quite as far as man made laws are preordained to think.” Mrs Justice Smith looked down upon me; now accused “There are so many women who are shackled and abused I understand so well how one can feel lost and bereft I shall not try this woman, for there is so little left.” * I left the courtroom free, although the verdict left me shook Until the judge climbed in a car… and gave a knowing look.