30 Years

They say the sadness will go away But I find it so hard to believe what they say Each day is like yesterday, tomorrow, last week Trying so hard to find the help that I seek I’m told it’s darkest before the dawn It’s been dark in my world since the day I was born The glass the knife the bottle the blood My arms being opened the relief of the flood But what of the after the guilt and the pain The dismay of my loved ones there looks of disdain I feel no remorse the cutting the stitching my way of life It’s cost me my loved ones my children my wife But still it continues compelling me on Where will this end where as the sun gone A self-harmers story there’s more to be told How will this conclude how will it unfold My mood seems to deepen depression sinks in I pick up a knife I reach for my skin I sink into sadness sorrow remorse I know these old feelings things follow their course Low self-esteem is it attention I seek I feel like an outcast I feel like a freak For 30 yrs now it’s been like this I need my life back my family I miss So I’ll take all the help that’s given me I need to stop this abuse I need to be free It’s a hard road ill travel a difficult road to tread I’m a mixture of emotions and feelings of dread I have to stop using others as an emotional prop I need to pull my life together and the bloodletting to stop Update Guys This Is Not About Me but A Friend I Met A Few Years Ago He Told Me His Story And With His Permission I Wrote This Peice