2003

What do you do when love is out there but your afraid to find it Everyday the opportunites are endless There are opportunities for both purly physical and deeply emotional relationships I however am now terrified of both What happens if i open up again What happens if i get stuck there again Pain, i cannot handle the pain again When i was young i never let another person really in I never felt comfortable in another person Although they foolishly felt it in me My only expierence in love has turned into my biggest failure Now i know that it is time It is way past time To actually live life instead of being a constant observer i dont want to wreck my future running from my past I've been trying not to make foolish mistakes Mistakes that everyone must make to grow Somehow i still believe that i can grow without expierencing the diversities of life and love I try to believe that life will happen for me but if there is a path, If there is always a reason than i must wonder, What have the last 2 years been Did i come here to finally open up To fall in love and join the human race What have i accomplished? A trail of broken hearts follow me everywhere And at the very end is my own No longer bleeding but still aching If i could move on maybe my smiles wouldnt have to be fake There is nothing more painfuly to me than a broken heart, Followed by dozens of daily compliments Followed by false smiles and heldin tears