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Best Famous Overdraft Poems

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Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

A Ballad of Ducks

 The railway rattled and roared and swung 
With jolting and bumping trucks. 
The sun, like a billiard red ball, hung 
In the Western sky: and the tireless tongue 
Of the wild-eyed man in the corner told 
This terrible tale of the days of old, 
And the party that ought to have kept the ducks. 
"Well, it ain't all joy bein' on the land 
With an overdraft that'd knock you flat; 
And the rabbits have pretty well took command; 
But the hardest thing for a man to stand 
Is the feller who says 'Well I told you so! 
You should ha' done this way, don't you know!' -- 
I could lay a bait for a man like that. 

"The grasshoppers struck us in ninety-one 
And what they leave -- well, it ain't de luxe. 
But a growlin' fault-findin' son of a gun 
Who'd lent some money to stock our run -- 
I said they'd eaten what grass we had -- 
Says he, 'Your management's very bad; 
You had a right to have kept some ducks!' 

"To have kept some ducks! And the place was white! 
Wherever you went you had to tread 
On grasshoppers guzzlin' day and night; 
And then with a swoosh they rose in flight, 
If you didn't look out for yourself they'd fly 
Like bullets into your open eye 
And knock it out of the back of your head. 

"There isn't a turkey or goose or swan, 
Or a duck that quacks, or a hen that clucks, 
Can make a difference on a run 
When a grasshopper plague has once begun; 
'If you'd finance us,' I says, 'I'd buy 
Ten thousand emus and have a try; 
The job,' I says, 'is too big for ducks! 

"'You must fetch a duck when you come to stay; 
A great big duck -- a Muscovy toff -- 
Ready and fit,' I says, 'for the fray; 
And if the grasshoppers come our way 
You turn your duck into the lucerne patch, 
And I'd be ready to make a match 
That the grasshoppers eat his feathers off!" 

"He came to visit us by and by, 
And it just so happened one day in spring 
A kind of cloud came over the sky -- 
A wall of grasshoppers nine miles high, 
And nine miles thick, and nine hundred wide, 
Flyin' in regiments, side by side, 
And eatin' up every living thing. 

"All day long, like a shower of rain, 
You'd hear 'em smackin' against the wall, 
Tap, tap, tap, on the window pane, 
And they'd rise and jump at the house again 
Till their crippled carcasses piled outside. 
But what did it matter if thousands died -- 
A million wouldn't be missed at all. 

"We were drinkin' grasshoppers -- so to speak -- 
Till we skimmed their carcasses off the spring; 
And they fell so thick in the station creek 
They choked the waterholes all the week. 
There was scarcely room for a trout to rise, 
And they'd only take artificial flies -- 
They got so sick of the real thing. 

"An Arctic snowstorm was beat to rags 
When the hoppers rose for their morning flight 
With the flapping noise like a million flags: 
And the kitchen chimney was stuffed with bags 
For they'd fall right into the fire, and fry 
Till the cook sat down and began to cry -- 
And never a duck or fowl in sight. 

"We strolled across to the railroad track -- 
Under a cover beneath some trucks, 
I sees a feather and hears a quack; 
I stoops and I pulls the tarpaulin back -- 
Every duck in the place was there, 
No good to them was the open air. 
'Mister,' I says, 'There's your blanky ducks!'"


Written by Henry Lawson | Create an image from this poem

Forard

 It is stuffy in the steerage where the second-classers sleep, 
For there's near a hundred for'ard, and they're stowed away like sheep, -- 
They are trav'lers for the most part in a straight 'n' honest path; 
But their linen's rather scanty, an' there isn't any bath -- 
Stowed away like ewes and wethers that is shore 'n' marked 'n' draft. 
But the shearers of the shearers always seem to travel aft; 
In the cushioned cabins, aft, 
With saloons 'n' smoke-rooms, aft -- 
There is sheets 'n' best of tucker for the first-salooners, aft. 

Our beef is just like scrapin's from the inside of a hide, 
And the spuds were pulled too early, for they're mostly green inside; 
But from somewhere back amidships there's a smell o' cookin' waft, 
An' I'd give my earthly prospects for a real good tuck-out aft -- 
Ham an' eggs 'n' coffee, aft, 
Say, cold fowl for luncheon, aft, 
Juicy grills an' toast 'n' cutlets -- tucker a-lor-frongsy, aft. 

They feed our women sep'rate, an' they make a blessed fuss, 
Just as if they couldn't trust 'em for to eat along with us! 
Just because our hands are horny an' our hearts are rough with graft -- 
But the gentlemen and ladies always DINE together, aft -- 
With their ferns an' mirrors, aft, 
With their flow'rs an' napkins, aft -- 
`I'll assist you to an orange' -- `Kindly pass the sugar', aft. 

We are shabby, rough, 'n' dirty, an' our feelin's out of tune, 
An' it's hard on fellers for'ard that was used to go saloon; 
There's a broken swell among us -- he is barracked, he is chaffed, 
An' I wish at times, poor devil, for his own sake he was aft; 
For they'd understand him, aft, 
(He will miss the bath-rooms aft), 
Spite of all there's no denyin' that there's finer feelin's aft. 

Last night we watched the moonlight as it spread across the sea -- 
`It is hard to make a livin',' said the broken swell to me. 
`There is ups an' downs,' I answered, an' a bitter laugh he laughed -- 
There were brighter days an' better when he always travelled aft -- 
With his rug an' gladstone, aft, 
With his cap an' spyglass, aft -- 
A careless, rovin', gay young spark as always travelled aft. 

There's a notice by the gangway, an' it seems to come amiss, 
For it says that second-classers `ain't allowed abaft o' this'; 
An' there ought to be a notice for the fellows from abaft -- 
But the smell an' dirt's a warnin' to the first-salooners, aft; 
With their tooth and nail-brush, aft, 
With their cuffs 'n' collars, aft -- 
Their cigars an' books an' papers, an' their cap-peaks fore-'n'-aft. 

I want to breathe the mornin' breeze that blows against the boat, 
For there's a swellin' in my heart -- a tightness in my throat -- 
We are for'ard when there's trouble! We are for'ard when there's graft! 
But the men who never battle always seem to travel aft; 
With their dressin'-cases, aft, 
With their swell pyjamas, aft -- 
Yes! the idle and the careless, they have ease an' comfort, aft. 

I feel so low an' wretched, as I mooch about the deck, 
That I'm ripe for jumpin' over -- an' I wish there was a wreck! 
We are driven to New Zealand to be shot out over there -- 
Scarce a shillin' in our pockets, nor a decent rag to wear, 
With the everlastin' worry lest we don't get into graft -- 
There is little left to land for if you cannot travel aft; 
No anxiety abaft, 
They have stuff to land with, aft -- 
Oh, there's little left to land for if you cannot travel aft; 

But it's grand at sea this mornin', an' Creation almost speaks, 
Sailin' past the Bay of Islands with its pinnacles an' peaks, 
With the sunny haze all round us an' the white-caps on the blue, 
An' the orphan rocks an' breakers -- Oh, it's glorious sailin' through! 
To the south a distant steamer, to the west a coastin' craft, 
An' we see the beauty for'ard, better than if we were aft; 
Spite of op'ra-glasses, aft; 
But, ah well, they're brothers aft -- 
Nature seems to draw us closer -- bring us nearer fore-'n'-aft. 

What's the use of bein' bitter? What's the use of gettin' mad? 
What's the use of bein' narrer just because yer luck is bad? 
What's the blessed use of frettin' like a child that wants the moon? 
There is broken hearts an' trouble in the gilded first saloon! 
We are used to bein' shabby -- we have got no overdraft -- 
We can laugh at troubles for'ard that they couldn't laugh at aft; 
Spite o' pride an' tone abaft 
(Keepin' up appearance, aft) 
There's anxiety an' worry in the breezy cabins aft. 

But the curse o' class distinctions from our shoulders shall be hurled, 
An' the influence of woman revolutionize the world; 
There'll be higher education for the toilin' starvin' clown, 
An' the rich an' educated shall be educated down; 
An' we all will meet amidships on this stout old earthly craft, 
An' there won't be any friction 'twixt the classes fore-'n'-aft. 
We'll be brothers, fore-'n'-aft! 
Yes, an' sisters, fore-'n'-aft! 
When the people work together, and there ain't no fore-'n'-aft.
Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Reconstruction

 So, the bank has bust it's boiler! And in six or seven year 
It will pay me all my money back -- of course! 
But the horse will perish waiting while the grass is germinating, 
And I reckon I'll be something like the horse. 

There's the ploughing to be finished and the ploughmen want their pay, 
And I'd like to wire the fence and sink a tank; 
But I own I'm fairly beat how I'm going to make ends meet 
With my money in a reconstructed bank. 

"It's a safe and sure investment!" But it's one I can't afford, 
For I've got to meet my bills and bay the rent, 
And the cash I had provided (so these meetings have decided) 
Shall be collared by the bank at three per cent. 

I can draw out half my money, so they tell me, from the Crown; 
But -- it's just enough to drive a fellow daft -- 
My landlord's quite distressed, by this very bank he's pressed, 
And he'll sell me up, to pay his overdraft. 

There's my nearest neighbour, Johnson, owed this self-same bank a debt, 
Every feather off his poor old back they pluck't, 
For they set to work to shove him, and they sold his house above him, 
Lord! They never gave him time to reconstruct. 

And their profits from the business have been twenty-five per cent, 
Which, I reckon, is a pretty tidy whack, 
And I think it's only proper, now the thing has come a cropper, 
That they ought to pay a little of it back. 

I have read about "reserve funds", "banking freeholds", and the like, 
Till I thought the bank had thousands of assets, 
And it strikes me very funny that they take a fellow's money 
When they haven't got enough to pay their debts. 

And they say they've lent my money, and they can't get paid it back. 
I know their rates per cent were tens and twelves; 
And if they've made a blunder after scooping all this plunder, 
Why, they ought to fork the money out themselves. 

So all you bank shareholders, if you won't pay what you owe, 
You will find that on your bank will fall a blight; 
And the reason is because it's simply certain that deposits 
Will be stopped, the bank will bust, and serve you right!
Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Saltbush Bills Gamecock

 'Twas Saltbush Bill, with his travelling sheep, was making his way to town; 
He crossed them over the Hard Times Run, and he came to the Take 'Em Down; 
He counted through at the boundary gate, and camped at the drafting yard: 
For Stingy Smith, of the Hard Times Run, had hunted him rather hard. 
He bore no malice to Stingy Smith -- 'twas simply the hand of Fate 
That caused his waggon to swerve aside and shatter old Stingy's gate; 
And being only the hand of Fate, it follows, without a doubt, 
It wasn't the fault of Saltbush Bill that Stingy's sheep got out. 
So Saltbush Bill, with an easy heart, prepared for what might befall, 
Commenced his stages on Take 'Em Down, the station of Roostr Hall. 
'Tis strange how often the men out back will take to some curious craft, 
Some ruling passion to keep their thoughts away from the overdraft: 
And Rooster Hall, of the Take 'Em Down, was widely known to fame 
As breeder of champion fighting cocks -- his forte was the British Game. 

The passing stranger within his gates that camped with old Rooster Hall 
Was forced to talk about fowls all noght, or else not talk at all. 
Though droughts should come, and though sheep should die, his fowls were his sole delight; 
He left his shed in the flood of work to watch two game-cocks fight. 
He held in scorn the Australian Game, that long-legged child of sin; 
In a desperate fight, with the steel-tipped spurs, the British Game must win! 
The Australian bird was a mongrel bird, with a touch of the jungle cock; 
The want of breeding must find him out, when facing the English stock; 
For British breeding, and British pluck, must triumph it over all -- 
And that was the root of the simple creed that governed old Rooster Hall. 



'Twas Saltbush Bill to the station rode ahead of his travelling sheep, 
And sent a message to Rooster Hall that wakened him out of his sleep -- 
A crafty message that fetched him out, and hurried him as he came -- 
"A drover has an Australian bird to match with your British Game." 
'Twas done, and done in half a trice; a five-pound note a side; 
Old Rooster Hall, with his champion bird, and the drover's bird untried. 

"Steel spurs, of course?" said old Rooster Hall; "you'll need 'em, without a doubt!" 
"You stick the spurs on your bird!" said Bill, "but mine fights best without." 
"Fights best without?" said old Rooster Hall; "he can't fight best unspurred! 
You must be crazy!" But Saltbush Bill said, "Wait till you see my bird!" 
So Rooster Hall to his fowl-yard went, and quickly back he came, 
Bearing a clipt and a shaven cock, the pride of his English Game; 
With an eye as fierce as an eaglehawk, and a crow like a trumbet call, 
He strutted about on the garden walk, and cackled at Rooster Hall. 
Then Rooster Hall sent off a boy with a word to his cronies two, 
McCrae (the boss of the Black Police) and Father Donahoo. 

Full many a cockfight old McCrae had held in his empty Court, 
With Father D. as the picker-up -- a regular all-round Sport! 
They got the message of Rooster Hall, and down to his run they came, 
Prepared to scoff at the drover's bird, and to bet on the English Game; 
They hied them off to the drover's camp, while Saltbush rode before -- 
Old Rooster Hall was a blithsome man, when he thought of the treat in store. 
They reached the camp, where the drover's cook, with countenance all serene, 
Was boiling beef in an iron pot, but never a fowl was seen. 

"Take off the beef from the fire," said Bill, "and wait till you see the fight; 
There's something fresh for the bill-of-fare -- there's game-fowl stew tonight! 
For Mister Hall has a fighting cock, all feathered and clipped and spurred; 
And he's fetched him here, for a bit of sport, to fight our Australian bird. 
I've made a match for our pet will win, though he's hardly a fighting cock, 
But he's game enough, and it's many a mile that he's tramped with the travelling stock." 
The cook he banged on a saucepan lid; and, soon as the sound was heard, 
Under the dray, in the shallow hid, a something moved and stirred: 
A great tame emu strutted out. Said Saltbush, "Here's our bird!" 
Bur Rooster Hall, and his cronies two, drove home without a word. 

The passing stranger within his gates that camps with old Rooster Hall 
Must talk about something else than fowls, if he wishes to talk at all. 
For the record lies in the local Court, and filed in its deepest vault, 
That Peter Hall, of the Take 'Em Down, was tried for a fierce assault 
On a stranger man, who, in all good faith, and prompted by what he heard, 
Had asked old Hall if a British Game could beat an Australian bird; 
And Old McCrae, who was on the bench, as soon as the case was tried, 
Remarked, "Discharged with a clean discharge -- the assault was justified!"
Written by Robert William Service | Create an image from this poem

The Logger

 In the moonless, misty night, with my little pipe alight,
 I am sitting by the camp-fire's fading cheer;
Oh, the dew is falling chill on the dim, deer-haunted hill,
 And the breakers in the bay are moaning drear.
The toilful hours are sped, the boys are long abed,
 And I alone a weary vigil keep;
In the sightless, sullen sky I can hear the night-hawk cry,
 And the frogs in frenzied chorus from the creek.

And somehow the embers' glow brings me back the long ago,
 The days of merry laughter and light song;
When I sped the hours away with the gayest of the gay
 In the giddy whirl of fashion's festal throng.
Oh, I ran a grilling race and I little recked the pace,
 For the lust of youth ran riot in my blood;
But at last I made a stand in this God-forsaken land
 Of the pine-tree and the mountain and the flood.

And now I've got to stay, with an overdraft to pay,
 For pleasure in the past with future pain;
And I'm not the chap to whine, for if the chance were mine
 I know I'd choose the old life once again.
With its woman's eyes a-shine, and its flood of golden wine;
 Its fever and its frolic and its fun;
The old life with its din, its laughter and its sin --
 And chuck me in the gutter when it's done.

Ah, well! it's past and gone, and the memory is wan,
 That conjures up each old familiar face;
And here by fortune hurled, I am dead to all the world,
 And I've learned to lose my pride and keep my place.
My ways are hard and rough, and my arms are strong and tough,
 And I hew the dizzy pine till darkness falls;
And sometimes I take a dive, just to keep my heart alive,
 Among the gay saloons and dancing halls.

In the distant, dinful town just a little drink to drown
 The cares that crowd and canker in my brain;
Just a little joy to still set my pulses all a-thrill,
 Then back to brutish labour once again.
And things will go on so until one day I shall know
 That Death has got me cinched beyond a doubt;
Then I'll crawl away from sight, and morosely in the night
 My weary, wasted life will peter out.

Then the boys will gather round, and they'll launch me in the ground,
 And pile the stones the timber wolf to foil;
And the moaning pine will wave overhead a nameless grave,
 Where the black snake in the sunshine loves to coil.
And they'll leave me there alone, and perhaps with softened tone
 Speak of me sometimes in the camp-fire's glow,
As a played-out, broken chum, who has gone to Kingdom Come,
 And who went the pace in England long ago.



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