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Best Famous Dumbest Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Dumbest poems. This is a select list of the best famous Dumbest poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Dumbest poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of dumbest poems.

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Written by Bob Hicok | Create an image from this poem

What Would Freud Say?

 Wasn't on purpose that I drilled 
through my finger or the nurse 
laughed. She apologized 
three times and gave me a shot 
of something that was a lusher 
apology. The person 
who drove me home 
said my smile was a smeared 
totem that followed 
his body that night as it arced 
over a cliff in a dream.
He's always flying 
in his dreams and lands 
on cruise ships or hovers 
over Atlanta with an ********.
He put me to bed and the drugs
wore off and I woke 
to cannibals at my extremities. 
I woke with a sense
of what nails in the palms 
might do to a spirit 
temporarily confined to flesh. 
That too was an accident 
if you believe Judas 
merely wanted to be loved. 
To be loved by God, 
Urban the 8th 
had heads cut off 
that were inadequately 
bowed by dogma. To be loved 
by Blondie, Dagwood
gets nothing right 
except the hallucinogenic 
architecture of sandwiches. 
He would have drilled 
through a finger too 
while making a case for books 
on home repair and health. 
Drilling through my finger's 
not the dumbest thing 
I've done. Second place 
was approaching 
a frozen gas-cap with lighter
in hand while thinking 
heat melts ice and not 
explosion kills *******. First 
place was passing 
through a bedroom door 
and removing silk that did not
belong to my wife.
Making a bookcase is not 
the extent of my apology. 
I've also been beaten up 
in a bar for saying huevos 
rancheros in a way 
insulting to the patrons' 
ethnicity. I've also lost 
my job because lying 
face down on the couch 
didn't jibe with my employer's 
definition of home 
office. I wanted her to come
through the door on Sunday
and see the bookcase 
she'd asked me to build 
for a year and be impressed 
that it didn't lean 
or wobble even though 
I've only leaned and often 
wobbled. Now it's half
done but certainly
a better gift with its map
of my unfaithful blood.


Written by Victor Hugo | Create an image from this poem

Marriage And Feasts

 ("La salle est magnifique.") 
 
 {IV. Aug. 23, 1839.} 


 The hall is gay with limpid lustre bright— 
 The feast to pampered palate gives delight— 
 The sated guests pick at the spicy food, 
 And drink profusely, for the cheer is good; 
 And at that table—where the wise are few— 
 Both sexes and all ages meet the view; 
 The sturdy warrior with a thoughtful face— 
 The am'rous youth, the maid replete with grace, 
 The prattling infant, and the hoary hair 
 Of second childhood's proselytes—are there;— 
 And the most gaudy in that spacious hall, 
 Are e'er the young, or oldest of them all 
 Helmet and banner, ornament and crest, 
 The lion rampant, and the jewelled vest, 
 The silver star that glitters fair and white, 
 The arms that tell of many a nation's might— 
 Heraldic blazonry, ancestral pride, 
 And all mankind invents for pomp beside, 
 The wingèd leopard, and the eagle wild— 
 All these encircle woman, chief and child; 
 Shine on the carpet burying their feet, 
 Adorn the dishes that contain their meat; 
 And hang upon the drapery, which around 
 Falls from the lofty ceiling to the ground, 
 Till on the floor its waving fringe is spread, 
 As the bird's wing may sweep the roses' bed.— 
 
 Thus is the banquet ruled by Noise and Light, 
 Since Light and Noise are foremost on the site. 
 
 The chamber echoes to the joy of them 
 Who throng around, each with his diadem— 
 Each seated on proud throne—but, lesson vain! 
 Each sceptre holds its master with a chain! 
 Thus hope of flight were futile from that hall, 
 Where chiefest guest was most enslaved of all! 
 The godlike-making draught that fires the soul 
 The Love—sweet poison-honey—past control, 
 (Formed of the sexual breath—an idle name, 
 Offspring of Fancy and a nervous frame)— 
 Pleasure, mad daughter of the darksome Night, 
 Whose languid eye flames when is fading light— 
 The gallant chases where a man is borne 
 By stalwart charger, to the sounding horn— 
 The sheeny silk, the bed of leaves of rose, 
 Made more to soothe the sight than court repose; 
 The mighty palaces that raise the sneer 
 Of jealous mendicants and wretches near— 
 The spacious parks, from which horizon blue 
 Arches o'er alabaster statues new; 
 Where Superstition still her walk will take, 
 Unto soft music stealing o'er the lake— 
 The innocent modesty by gems undone— 
 The qualms of judges by small brib'ry won— 
 The dread of children, trembling while they play— 
 The bliss of monarchs, potent in their sway— 
 The note of war struck by the culverin, 
 That snakes its brazen neck through battle din— 
 The military millipede 
 That tramples out the guilty seed— 
 The capital all pleasure and delight— 
 And all that like a town or army chokes 
 The gazer with foul dust or sulphur smokes. 
 The budget, prize for which ten thousand bait 
 A subtle hook, that ever, as they wait 
 Catches a weed, and drags them to their fate, 
 While gleamingly its golden scales still spread— 
 Such were the meats by which these guests were fed. 
 
 A hundred slaves for lazy master cared, 
 And served each one with what was e'er prepared 
 By him, who in a sombre vault below, 
 Peppered the royal pig with peoples' woe, 
 And grimly glad went laboring till late— 
 The morose alchemist we know as Fate! 
 That ev'ry guest might learn to suit his taste, 
 Behind had Conscience, real or mock'ry, placed; 
 Conscience a guide who every evil spies, 
 But royal nurses early pluck out both his eyes! 
 
 Oh! at the table there be all the great, 
 Whose lives are bubbles that best joys inflate! 
 Superb, magnificent of revels—doubt 
 That sagest lose their heads in such a rout! 
 In the long laughter, ceaseless roaming round, 
 Joy, mirth and glee give out a maelström's sound; 
 And the astonished gazer casts his care, 
 Where ev'ry eyeball glistens in the flare. 
 
 But oh! while yet the singing Hebes pour 
 Forgetfulness of those without the door— 
 At very hour when all are most in joy, 
 And the hid orchestra annuls annoy, 
 Woe—woe! with jollity a-top the heights, 
 With further tapers adding to the lights, 
 And gleaming 'tween the curtains on the street, 
 Where poor folks stare—hark to the heavy feet! 
 Some one smites roundly on the gilded grate, 
 Some one below will be admitted straight, 
 Some one, though not invited, who'll not wait! 
 Close not the door! Your orders are vain breath— 
 That stranger enters to be known as Death— 
 Or merely Exile—clothed in alien guise— 
 Death drags away—with his prey Exile flies! 
 
 Death is that sight. He promenades the hall, 
 And casts a gloomy shadow on them all, 
 'Neath which they bend like willows soft, 
 Ere seizing one—the dumbest monarch oft, 
 And bears him to eternal heat and drouth, 
 While still the toothsome morsel's in his mouth. 
 
 G.W.M. REYNOLDS. 


 





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