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Best Famous Bailiff Poems

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Written by Rudyard Kipling | Create an image from this poem

The Land

 When Julius Fabricius, Sub-Prefect of the Weald,
In the days of Diocletian owned our Lower River-field,
He called to him Hobdenius-a Briton of the Clay,
Saying: "What about that River-piece for layin'' in to hay?"

And the aged Hobden answered: "I remember as a lad
My father told your father that she wanted dreenin' bad.
An' the more that you neeglect her the less you'll get her clean.
Have it jest as you've a mind to, but, if I was you, I'd dreen.
" So they drained it long and crossways in the lavish Roman style-- Still we find among the river-drift their flakes of ancient tile, And in drouthy middle August, when the bones of meadows show, We can trace the lines they followed sixteen hundred years ago.
Then Julius Fabricius died as even Prefects do, And after certain centuries, Imperial Rome died too.
Then did robbers enter Britain from across the Northern main And our Lower River-field was won by Ogier the Dane.
Well could Ogier work his war-boat --well could Ogier wield his brand-- Much he knew of foaming waters--not so much of farming land.
So he called to him a Hobden of the old unaltered blood, Saying: "What about that River-piece; she doesn't look no good?" And that aged Hobden answered "'Tain't for me not interfere.
But I've known that bit o' meadow now for five and fifty year.
Have it jest as you've a mind to, but I've proved it time on ' time, If you want to change her nature you have got to give her lime!" Ogier sent his wains to Lewes, twenty hours' solemn walk, And drew back great abundance of the cool, grey, healing chalk.
And old Hobden spread it broadcast, never heeding what was in't.
-- Which is why in cleaning ditches, now and then we find a flint.
Ogier died.
His sons grew English-Anglo-Saxon was their name-- Till out of blossomed Normandy another pirate came; For Duke William conquered England and divided with his men, And our Lower River-field he gave to William of Warenne.
But the Brook (you know her habit) rose one rainy autumn night And tore down sodden flitches of the bank to left and right.
So, said William to his Bailiff as they rode their dripping rounds: "Hob, what about that River-bit--the Brook's got up no bounds? " And that aged Hobden answered: "'Tain't my business to advise, But ye might ha' known 'twould happen from the way the valley lies.
Where ye can't hold back the water you must try and save the sile.
Hev it jest as you've a mind to, but, if I was you, I'd spile!" They spiled along the water-course with trunks of willow-trees, And planks of elms behind 'em and immortal oaken knees.
And when the spates of Autumn whirl the gravel-beds away You can see their faithful fragments, iron-hard in iron clay.
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Georgii Quinti Anno Sexto, I, who own the River-field, Am fortified with title-deeds, attested, signed and sealed, Guaranteeing me, my assigns, my executors and heirs All sorts of powers and profits which-are neither mine nor theirs, I have rights of chase and warren, as my dignity requires.
I can fish-but Hobden tickles--I can shoot--but Hobden wires.
I repair, but he reopens, certain gaps which, men allege, Have been used by every Hobden since a Hobden swapped a hedge.
Shall I dog his morning progress o'er the track-betraying dew? Demand his dinner-basket into which my pheasant flew? Confiscate his evening ****** under which my conies ran, And summons him to judgment? I would sooner summons Pan.
His dead are in the churchyard--thirty generations laid.
Their names were old in history when Domesday Book was made; And the passion and the piety and prowess of his line Have seeded, rooted, fruited in some land the Law calls mine.
Not for any beast that burrows, not for any bird that flies, Would I lose his large sound council, miss his keen amending eyes.
He is bailiff, woodman, wheelwright, field-surveyor, engineer, And if flagrantly a poacher--'tain't for me to interfere.
"Hob, what about that River-bit?" I turn to him again, With Fabricius and Ogier and William of Warenne.
"Hev it jest as you've a mind to, but"-and here he takes com- mand.
For whoever pays the taxes old Mus' Hobden owns the land.


Written by Anthony Hecht | Create an image from this poem

Chorus From Oedipus At Colonos

 What is unwisdom but the lusting after
Longevity: to be old and full of days!
For the vast and unremitting tide of years
Casts up to view more sorrowful things than joyful;
And as for pleasures, once beyond our prime,
They all drift out of reach, they are washed away.
And the same gaunt bailiff calls upon us all.
Summoning into Darkness, to those wards Where is no music, dance, or marriage hymn That soothes or gladdens.
To the tenements of Death.
Not to be born is, past all yearning, best.
And second best is, having seen the light.
To return at once to deep oblivion.
When youth has gone, and the baseless dreams of youth, What misery does not then jostle man's elbow, Join him as a companion, share his bread? Betrayal, envy, calumny and bloodshed Move in on him, and finally Old Age-- Infirm, despised Old Age--joins in his ruin, The crowning taunt of his indignities.
So is it with that man, not just with me.
He seems like a frail jetty facing North Whose pilings the waves batter from all quarters; From where the sun comes up, from where it sets, From freezing boreal regions, from below, A whole winter of miseries now assails him, Thrashes his sides and breaks over his head.
Written by Henry Lawson | Create an image from this poem

Peter Anderson And Co

 He had offices in Sydney, not so many years ago, 
And his shingle bore the legend `Peter Anderson and Co.
', But his real name was Careless, as the fellows understood -- And his relatives decided that he wasn't any good.
'Twas their gentle tongues that blasted any `character' he had -- He was fond of beer and leisure -- and the Co.
was just as bad.
It was limited in number to a unit, was the Co.
-- 'Twas a bosom chum of Peter and his Christian name was Joe.
'Tis a class of men belonging to these soul-forsaken years: Third-rate canvassers, collectors, journalists and auctioneers.
They are never very shabby, they are never very spruce -- Going cheerfully and carelessly and smoothly to the deuce.
Some are wanderers by profession, `turning up' and gone as soon, Travelling second-class, or steerage (when it's cheap they go saloon); Free from `ists' and `isms', troubled little by belief or doubt -- Lazy, purposeless, and useless -- knocking round and hanging out.
They will take what they can get, and they will give what they can give, God alone knows how they manage -- God alone knows how they live! They are nearly always hard-up, but are cheerful all the while -- Men whose energy and trousers wear out sooner than their smile! They, no doubt, like us, are haunted by the boresome `if' or `might', But their ghosts are ghosts of daylight -- they are men who live at night! Peter met you with the comic smile of one who knows you well, And is mighty glad to see you, and has got a joke to tell; He could laugh when all was gloomy, he could grin when all was blue, Sing a comic song and act it, and appreciate it, too.
Only cynical in cases where his own self was the jest, And the humour of his good yarns made atonement for the rest.
Seldom serious -- doing business just as 'twere a friendly game -- Cards or billiards -- nothing graver.
And the Co.
was much the same.
They tried everything and nothing 'twixt the shovel and the press, And were more or less successful in their ventures -- mostly less.
Once they ran a country paper till the plant was seized for debt, And the local sinners chuckle over dingy copies yet.
They'd been through it all and knew it in the land of Bills and Jims -- Using Peter's own expression, they had been in `various swims'.
Now and then they'd take an office, as they called it, -- make a dash Into business life as `agents' -- something not requiring cash.
(You can always furnish cheaply, when your cash or credit fails, With a packing-case, a hammer, and a pound of two-inch nails -- And, maybe, a drop of varnish and sienna, too, for tints, And a scrap or two of oilcloth, and a yard or two of chintz).
They would pull themselves together, pay a week's rent in advance, But it never lasted longer than a month by any chance.
The office was their haven, for they lived there when hard-up -- A `daily' for a table cloth -- a jam tin for a cup; And if the landlord's bailiff happened round in times like these And seized the office-fittings -- well, there wasn't much to seize -- They would leave him in possession.
But at other times they shot The moon, and took an office where the landlord knew them not.
And when morning brought the bailiff there'd be nothing to be seen Save a piece of bevelled cedar where the tenant's plate had been; There would be no sign of Peter -- there would be no sign of Joe Till another portal boasted `Peter Anderson and Co.
' And when times were locomotive, billiard-rooms and private bars -- Spicy parties at the cafe -- long cab-drives beneath the stars; Private picnics down the Harbour -- shady campings-out, you know -- No one would have dreamed 'twas Peter -- no one would have thought 'twas Joe! Free-and-easies in their `diggings', when the funds began to fail, Bosom chums, cigars, tobacco, and a case of English ale -- Gloriously drunk and happy, till they heard the roosters crow -- And the landlady and neighbours made complaints about the Co.
But that life! it might be likened to a reckless drinking-song, For it can't go on for ever, and it never lasted long.
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Debt-collecting ruined Peter -- people talked him round too oft, For his heart was soft as butter (and the Co.
's was just as soft); He would cheer the haggard missus, and he'd tell her not to fret, And he'd ask the worried debtor round with him to have a wet; He would ask him round the corner, and it seemed to him and her, After each of Peter's visits, things were brighter than they were.
But, of course, it wasn't business -- only Peter's careless way; And perhaps it pays in heaven, but on earth it doesn't pay.
They got harder up than ever, and, to make it worse, the Co.
Went more often round the corner than was good for him to go.
`I might live,' he said to Peter, `but I haven't got the nerve -- I am going, Peter, going -- going, going -- no reserve.
Eat and drink and love they tell us, for to-morrow we may die, Buy experience -- and we bought it -- we're experienced, you and I.
' Then, with a weary movement of his hand across his brow: `The death of such philosophy's the death I'm dying now.
Pull yourself together, Peter; 'tis the dying wish of Joe That the business world shall honour Peter Anderson and Co.
`When you feel your life is sinking in a dull and useless course, And begin to find in drinking keener pleasure and remorse -- When you feel the love of leisure on your careless heart take holt, Break away from friends and pleasure, though it give your heart a jolt.
Shun the poison breath of cities -- billiard-rooms and private bars, Go where you can breathe God's air and see the grandeur of the stars! Find again and follow up the old ambitions that you had -- See if you can raise a drink, old man, I'm feelin' mighty bad -- Hot and sweetened, nip o' butter -- squeeze o' lemon, Pete,' he sighed.
And, while Peter went to fetch it, Joseph went to sleep -- and died With a smile -- anticipation, maybe, of the peace to come, Or a joke to try on Peter -- or, perhaps, it was the rum.
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Peter staggered, gripped the table, swerved as some old drunkard swerves -- At a gulp he drank the toddy, just to brace his shattered nerves.
It was awful, if you like.
But then he hadn't time to think -- All is nothing! Nothing matters! Fill your glasses -- dead man's drink.
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Yet, to show his heart was not of human decency bereft, Peter paid the undertaker.
He got drunk on what was left; Then he shed some tears, half-maudlin, on the grave where lay the Co.
, And he drifted to a township where the city failures go.
Where, though haunted by the man he was, the wreck he yet might be, Or the man he might have been, or by each spectre of the three, And the dying words of Joseph, ringing through his own despair, Peter `pulled himself together' and he started business there.
But his life was very lonely, and his heart was very sad, And no help to reformation was the company he had -- Men who might have been, who had been, but who were not in the swim -- 'Twas a town of wrecks and failures -- they appreciated him.
They would ask him who the Co.
was -- that ***** company he kept -- And he'd always answer vaguely -- he would say his partner slept; That he had a `sleeping partner' -- jesting while his spirit broke -- And they grinned above their glasses, for they took it as a joke.
He would shout while he had money, he would joke while he had breath -- No one seemed to care or notice how he drank himself to death; Till at last there came a morning when his smile was seen no more -- He was gone from out the office, and his shingle from the door, And a boundary-rider jogging out across the neighb'ring run Was attracted by a something that was blazing in the sun; And he found that it was Peter, lying peacefully at rest, With a bottle close beside him and the shingle on his breast.
Well, they analysed the liquor, and it would appear that he Qualified his drink with something good for setting spirits free.
Though 'twas plainly self-destruction -- `'twas his own affair,' they said; And the jury viewed him sadly, and they found -- that he was dead.
Written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe | Create an image from this poem

BEFORE A COURT OF JUSTICE

 THE father's name ye ne'er shall be told

Of my darling unborn life;
"Shame, shame," ye cry, "on the strumpet bold!"

Yet I'm an honest wife.
To whom I'm wedded, ye ne'er shall be told, Yet he's both loving and fair; He wears on his neck a chain of gold, And a hat of straw doth he wear.
If scorn 'tis vain to seek to repel, On me let the scorn be thrown.
I know him well, and he knows me well, And to God, too, all is known.
Sir Parson and Sir Bailiff, again, I pray you, leave me in peace! My child it is, my child 'twill remain, So let your questionings cease! 1815.
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Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Mulligans Mare

 Oh, Mulligan's bar was the deuce of a place 
To drink, and to fight, and to gamble and race; 
The height of choice spirits from near and from far 
Were all concentrated on Mulligan's bar.
There was "Jerry the Swell", and the jockey-boy Ned, "Dog-bite-me" -- so called from the shape of his head -- And a man whom the boys, in their musical slang, Designated the "Gaffer of Mulligan's Gang".
Now Mulligan's Gang had a racer to show, A bad un to look at, a good un to go; Whenever they backed her you safely might swear She'd walk in a winner, would Mulligan's mare.
But Mulligan, having some radical views, Neglected his business and got on the booze; He took up with runners -- a treacherous troop -- Who gave him away, and he "fell in the soup".
And so it turned out on a fine summer day, A bailiff turned up with a writ of "fi.
fa.
"; He walked to the bar with a manner serene, "I levy," said he, "in the name of the Queen.
" Then Mulligan wanted, in spite of the law, To pay out the bailiff with "one on the jaw"; He drew out to hit him; but ere you could wink, He changed his intention and stood him a drink.
A great consultation there straightway befell 'Twixt jockey-boy Neddy and Jerry the Swell, And the man with the head, who remarked "Why, you bet! Dog-bite-me!" said he, "but we'll diddle 'em yet.
"We'll slip out the mare from her stall in a crack, And put in her place the old broken-down hack; The hack is so like her, I'm ready to swear The bailiff will think he has Mulligan's mare.
"So out with the racer and in with the screw, We'll show him what Mulligan's talent can do; And if he gets nasty and dares to say much, I'll knock him as stiff as my grandfather's crutch.
" Then off to the town went the mare and the lad; The bailiff came out, never dreamt he was "had"; But marched to the stall with a confident air -- "I levy," said he, "upon Mulligan's mare.
" He watched her by day and he watched her by night, She was never an instant let out of his sight, For races were coming away in the West And Mulligan's mare had a chance with the best.
"Here's a slant," thought the bailiff, "to serve my own ends, I'll send off a wire to my bookmaking friends: 'Get all you can borrow, beg, snavel or snare And lay the whole lot against Mulligan's mare.
'" The races came round, and the crowd on the course Were laying the mare till they made themselves hoarse, And Mulligan's party, with ardour intense, They backed her for pounds and for shillings and pence.
But think of the grief of the bookmaking host At the sound of the summons to go to the post -- For down to the start with her thoroughbred air As fit as a fiddle pranced Mulligan's mare! They started, and off went the boy to the front, He cleared out at once, and he made it a hunt; He steadied as rounding the corner they wheeled, Then gave her her head -- and she smothered the field.
The race put her owner right clear of his debts; He landed a fortune in stakes and in bets, He paid the old bailiff the whole of his pelf, And gave him a hiding to keep for himself.
So all you bold sportsmen take warning, I pray, Keep clear of the running, you'll find it don't pay; For the very best rule that you'll hear in a week Is never to bet on a thing that can speak.
And whether you're lucky or whether you lose, Keep clear of the cards and keep clear of the booze, And fortune in season will answer your prayer And send you a flyer like Mulligan's mare.


Written by Emily Dickinson | Create an image from this poem

I had some things that I called mine

 I had some things that I called mine --
And God, that he called his,
Till, recently a rival Claim
Disturbed these amities.
The property, my garden, Which having sown with care, He claims the pretty acre, And sends a Bailiff there.
The station of the parties Forbids publicity, But Justice is sublimer Than arms, or pedigree.
I'll institute an "Action" -- I'll vindicate the law -- Jove! Choose your counsel -- I retain "Shaw"!
Written by Ellis Parker Butler | Create an image from this poem

To Marguerite

 So great my debt to thee, I know my life
 Is all too short to pay the least I owe,
And though I live it all in that sweet strife,
 Still shall I be insolvent when I go.
Bid, then, thy Bailiff Cupid come to me And bind and lead me wheresoe’er thou art, And let me live in sweet captivity Within the debtor’s prison of thy heart.
Written by Robert Louis Stevenson | Create an image from this poem

In Charidemum

 YOU, Charidemus, who my cradle swung,
And watched me all the days that I was young;
You, at whose step the laziest slaves awake,
And both the bailiff and the butler quake;
The barber's suds now blacken with my beard,
And my rough kisses make the maids afeared;
But with reproach your awful eyebrows twitch,
And for the cane, I see, your fingers itch.
If something daintily attired I go, Straight you exclaim: "Your father did not so.
" And fuming, count the bottles on the board As though my cellar were your private hoard.
Enough, at last: I have done all I can, And your own mistress hails me for a man.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things