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My Consolation

 'Nay; I don't need a hearing aid'
 I told Mama-in-law;
'For if I had I'd be afraid
 Of your eternal jaw;
Although at me you often shout,
 I'm undisturbed;
To tell the truth I can't make out
 A single word.
' And it's the same with others who Attempt to gab at me; I listen to their point of view And solemnly agree.
To story stale and silly joke Stone deaf's my ear; Each day a dozen stupid folk I fail to hear.
So silence that should be my grief Is my escape and shield; From spiteful speech and base relief My aural sense is sealed.
And in my cosy cot of peace I close the door.
Praising the gods for rich relief From fool and bore.

Poem by Robert William Service
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Book: Shattered Sighs