Canzone XIX

CANZONE XIX.
 
S' il dissi mai, ch' i' venga in odio a quella.
 
HE VEHEMENTLY REBUTS THE CHARGE OF LOVING ANOTHER.
 
 
Perdie! I said it not,Nor never thought to do:As well as I, ye wotI have no power thereto.And if I did, the lotThat first did me enchainMay never slake the knot,But strait it to my pain.
 
And if I did, each thingThat may do harm or woe,[Pg 184]Continually may wringMy heart, where so I go!Report may always ringOf shame on me for aye,If in my heart did springThe words that you do say.
 
And if I did, each starThat is in heaven above,May frown on me, to marThe hope I have in love!And if I did, such warAs they brought unto Troy,Bring all my life afarFrom all his lust and joy!
 
And if I did so say,The beauty that me boundIncrease from day to day,More cruel to my wound!With all the moan that mayTo plaint may turn my song;My life may soon decay,Without redress, by wrong!
 
If I be clear from thought,Why do you then complain?Then is this thing but soughtTo turn my heart to pain.Then this that you have wrought,You must it now redress;Of right, therefore, you oughtSuch rigour to repress.
 
And as I have deserved,So grant me now my hire;You know I never swerved,You never found me liar.For Rachel have I served,For Leah cared I never;And her I have reservedWithin my heart for ever.
 
Wyatt. 
 
[Pg 185] If I said so, may I be hated byHer on whose love I live, without which I should die—If I said so, my days be sad and short,May my false soul some vile dominion court.If I said so, may every star to meBe hostile; round me growPale fear and jealousy;And she, my foe,As cruel still and cold as fair she aye must be.
 
If I said so, may Love upon my heartExpend his golden shafts, on her the leaden dart;Be heaven and earth, and God and man my foe,And she still more severe if I said so:If I said so, may he whose blind lights leadMe straightway to my grave,Trample yet worse his slave,Nor she behaveGentle and kind to me in look, or word, or deed.
 
If I said so, then through my brief life mayAll that is hateful block my worthless weary way:If I said so, may the proud frost in theeGrow prouder as more fierce the fire in me:If I said so, no more then may the warmSun or bright moon be view'd,Nor maid, nor matron's form,But one dread stormSuch as proud Pharaoh saw when Israel he pursued.
 
If I said so, despite each contrite sigh,Let courtesy for me and kindly feeling die:If I said so, that voice to anger swell,Which was so sweet when first her slave I fell:If I said so, I should offend whom I,E'en from my earliest breathUntil my day of death,Would gladly take,Alone in cloister'd cell my single saint to make.
 
But if I said not so, may she who first,In life's green youth, my heart to hope so sweetly nursed,Deign yet once more my weary bark to guideWith native kindness o'er the troublous tide;[Pg 186]And graceful, grateful, as her wont before,When, for I could no more,My all, myself I gave,To be her slave,Forget not the deep faith with which I still adore.
 
I did not, could not, never would say so,For all that gold can give, cities or courts bestow:Let truth, then, take her old proud seat on high,And low on earth let baffled falsehood lie.Thou know'st me, Love! if aught my state withinBelief or care may win,Tell her that I would callHim blest o'er allWho, doom'd like me to pine, dies ere his strife begin.
 
Rachel I sought, not Leah, to secure,Nor could I this vain life with other fair endure,And, should from earth Heaven summon her again,Myself would gladly dieFor her, or with her, whenElijah's fiery car her pure soul wafts on high.
 
Macgregor.

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