The Absurdity question

Absurdity- The more you are consciously aware of it the less of a conflict it really becomes. 
Absurdism took me three full readings of Camus The Myth of Sisyphus. Together with my own thesis of how the hero, Aloysha, in Brothers Karamazov was the greatest hero in literary fiction. He choice freedom and passion. That evaded me for countless years as I pondered how one could obtain either without some type of revolt. Until one day I saw it while walking my little pokey, he was later killed by my ex-wife by the way, and it was those words that kept bleeding through my brain, " Yes!" Alyosha said to the children who asked him if they would all meet together again after death? And will we all be the same? " And we will all gather under the sun and talk of stories and be again," Aloysia said while knowing deep in his heart that these are not possibly true. But while we're alive and still above ground we can still accept the truth and be happy at the same time. For knowing the truth is only half the equation the other is living and loving. Meaning becomes the byproduct of these two paradoxes, what I call The Absurd. You see that's how truths come to you very bitterly but it's up to us on how we decide to find that meaning. Meaning does exist, even for a brief time. Heidegger said " anxiety" is consciousness. Well, it doesn't have to be. Perception is reality. And the reality is the result of being aware that we are conscious. Now, what's so scary about that? Unless you're afraid to live.

 
Thank you