The need for instant results or even ‘I want it now and not later’ mindset lies at the heart of much of our creativity having taken a nose dive. We no longer give due consideration to the words we write. Conversely, we might be suffering from burnout or even the dreaded writer’s block—the more information we have at our fingertips, the less we seem to know or are inspired to create poetry, or indulge in any other art form for that matter.
Recently, I was frustrated in writing a new Suzette sonnet* (a sonnet variant I have featured before on here). I asked Microsoft Copilot to give me a nudge in some or other direction (why not?). The following was the prompt I gave AI:
Write a sonnet using the rhyme scheme aaa bb ccc dd abcd, on the topic of the quote by Vladimir Nabokov “Most of the dandelions had changed from suns into moons.”
THIS WAS ITS GALLANT EFFORT
Of dandelions, suns to moons they turn,
In golden fields where daylight hours burn.
Softly glowing, pale orbs now adjourn,
From radiant gold to silver’s soft light,
In moonlit whispers of the twilight’s sight,
A transformation silent as night.
From suns they were, now lunar blooms align,
Their seeds like stardust, on breezes entwine,
To new horizons, their journey divine.
Nature’s alchemy, a wondrous boon,
In cycles of life, so brief, yet swoon.
Embrace the change, as day yields to night’s tune,
And dandelions dream in silver light,
Of mornings where they shone so bright.
AI-generated 4 December 2024
Even with the myriad resources at its fingertips, it could not write a sonnet using the instructed rhyme scheme, resulting in a rhyme scheme of aaa bbb ccc ddd bb. Even the iambic metre is not exact, eg the 10th line starts with a stressed syllable (nature), also, the lines vary in syllable counts (the 14th line has only 8 syllables). It is a fallacy that AI is accurate when it comes to rhyme (I have come across some very imaginative rhymes), and the metre (Embrace the change, as day yields to night’s tune – stressed syllables highlighted) is often suspect. It reads to react and not to understand, but even its reaction can be frustrating.
However, it was not a total waste of time. The rhyme scheme that AI came up with put me in mind of the Blues sonnet. The Blues Sonnet is a distinctly 18th-century American verse form that has echoes of the Blues Stanza. Written in iambic pentameter, it consists of 4 triplets (each in mono-rhyme) and a rhyming couplet. The rhyme scheme is AAa BBb CCc DDd ee. The capital letters donate the repeating lines (the phrases are slightly varied), but the end words in each of these 2-line groups are identical. The lower case letters (the 3rd lines) continue the thoughts expressed in the first two lines. The rhyming couplet sums up the poem. There is a prescribed volta (turn) at line 9. The tone of the poem should be lamenting or mourning.
I wrote my own Blues sonnet, but eschewed the overly sentimental tone of the Blues.
DANDELION SUNS INTO MOONS
The humble dandelion nature bequeaths.
Oh, golden dandelion, nature bequeaths
your fortune woven into bridal wreaths.
The dandelion turns from sun into moon.
A dandelion, turn from sun into moon
as wishes cast, so young and old may swoon.
A Shepherd’s Clock marking the march of time.
My Shepherd’s Clock marking the march of time
as day now turns into night that’s still fine.
The moonlight whispers in early twilight
of moonlit whispers of early twilight—
a transformation of silence in night.
And dandelions, spent, dream in silver sheen
of mornings they shone – eagerly once seen.
© Suzette Richards 4 December 2024
When I asked Microsoft Copilot to critique my Blues sonnet, it had a mind of its own, and I quote:
This sonnet is a beautiful, evocative piece that employs rich imagery and a reflective tone. Here are some points to consider for refining it further:
Strengths:
- Imagery: The imagery of the dandelion transforming from sun to moon and the metaphor of the Shepherd’s Clock are vivid and engaging.
- Mood and Tone: The poem has a contemplative and serene mood, which complements the themes of transformation and the passage of time.
- Theme: The theme of transformation and the cyclical nature of life is well-expressed, especially through the symbolism of the dandelion.
Suggestions for Refinement:
- Repetition: The repeating lines add a musical quality, typical of a Blues Sonnet. However, consider varying the phrasing slightly to avoid exact repetition and enhance the flow.
- Meter and Rhythm: Ensure that each line adheres to a consistent meter to maintain the rhythm. For example, the line "Oh, golden dandelion, nature bequeaths" could be smoothed out for better rhythm.
- Clarity and Coherence: Some lines could be adjusted for clarity. For example, “of moonlit whispers of early twilight” could be simplified to maintain the poem’s flow and coherence.
Possible Edits:
- First Quatrain:
Oh, golden dandelion, nature’s grace,
Your fortune woven into bridal wreaths.
From sun to moon, you softly change your face,
As wishes cast, so young and old may swoon.
- Second Quatrain:
My Shepherd’s Clock marks the march of time,
Day turns to night, the stars begin to climb.
Moonlight whispers in the twilight’s glow,
Transformation silent, soft, and slow.
- Closing Couplet:
And dandelions, spent, dream silver sheen
Of mornings bright where once they’ve keenly been.
These edits aim to preserve the beautiful imagery and themes while enhancing the poem's rhythm and flow. I hope these suggestions are helpful!
End of quote.
My Assessment of the Suggestions:
It does not adhere to the Blues sonnet rhyme scheme of AAa BBb CCc DDd ee. The repetition of the first two lines in the triplets (3 lines in mono-rhyme) is the mainstay of the Blues sonnet. Mind you, the suggested couplet is not half bad. It did make me pause about the number of syllables in ‘dandelion’, and it turns out that I was wrong. Oops! It has 4 syllables:
Primary syllable stress: dan-de-li-on
Secondary syllable stress: dan-de-li-on
My final Blues Sonnet may be viewed at:
Dandelion Suns to Moons (poetrysoup.com)
Dandelion Sonnet
The above exercise gave rise to an idea for a sonnet variant, or a variant on the Blues sonnet, if you prefer.
The Dandelion sonnet may be syllabic rather than metrical—it is the poet’s prerogative. Rhyme scheme: aaa bbb ccc ddd ee.
As with the above quote by Vladimir Nabokov, the Dandelion sonnet calls for a gradual reveal of the different components, bringing it to a climax in the final couplet. Hence, pivots† are favoured instead of the volta (turn).
The quote reflects a keen observation of the natural world, highlighting the beauty and cyclical nature of growth and change. It's a reminder of how things can transform in subtle but profound ways, maintaining their beauty through different stages.
MY EXAMPLE
Where Tides once Gossiped (poetrysoup.com)
Articles referenced
*SUZETTE SONNET - SUZNET | PoetrySoup.com
†Glossary of Some Common Poetic Devices | PoetrySoup.com
Source (on the Blues sonnet)
Blues Sonnet - Sonnets - Poetry Magnum Opus