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Sidewalk Chemist

I test the gum
And the scum
That came from
So many feet
Scrape the blood
And the crud
Between mud
Smooshed on concrete

I sample spit
Ample birds***
All with a flick
Of the wrist
Coz I’m your local
Wearing bifocal
Antisocial
Sidewalk chemist

I run a lab
And own a lab
Called Ahab
And when we walk
I grab a glut
Of cigarette butts
Ahab sniffs mutts
We rarely talk

I test the muck
Assay green yuck
Prod black guck
With tender care
Then it’s all tagged
Labeled and bagged
But I can’t drag
It to a fair

Data is sorted
Then transported
Where it’s reported
By sidewalk chemist
But the town hall
Says I have some gall
With my folderol
And I’m promptly dismissed

I’ve paid my dues
Been on the news
With great reviews
Now for an encore
I’ve been promoted
To test the foetid
And sweaty coated
Men’s locker room floor

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Panagiota Romios

Date: 3/27/2024 10:33:00 AM

Wonderful,y imaginative, David. Your lasr stanza had me near rolling on the floor, laughing. Pangie xx

Duke Beaufort

Date: 3/23/2024 5:06:00 AM

David, very cute indeed. I am always a bit appalled when walking in public areas and seeing gum residue flattened and sticking to the ground--and it's not just a little bit. I don't get why people do that. You have some really great politics stuck in here as well. My daughter's current home was a rental at one time and I personally cleaned all the gum from the front with a scraper. I wouldn't mind leaving a sign that I was alive....but that's not what I had in mind. Maybe something helpful. A give the birds a bye.

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 3/21/2024 6:08:00 PM

Funny, lively, rhythmic and downright dirty poem is not for the faint hearted. Again, you've tested the limits. Keep it going

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 3/21/2024 1:52:00 PM

I enjoyed reading this fun/creative write. Sounds like you are a busy man with your lab & being a sidewalk chemist. Hahaha!!! Have fun day writing away..................

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 3/20/2024 5:53:00 PM

Hello David, What a gritty exploration of a unique perspective, highlighting the mundane yet crucial work of a sidewalk chemist. I love your raw honesty in your words that draw me the reader into this world of unconventional testing and societal dismissal. It's a thought-provoking reflection on the overlooked corners of society and the resilience of those who navigate them. Your poetic voice shines brightly in this piece, offering a fresh perspective on the human experience. - Blessings, Daniel