What is this all for
-What is this all for?-
Each time as I sit at my table pen in hand, journal laid out before me with the blank page waiting to be inscribed, I evaluate myself.
I always ask myself this one question:
What is this all for?
It’s not this life that I am asking this question of.
For Life exists because God has commanded it to be so.
So what is this all for?
I am not asking this question because I am curious why I am alive.
I am here to fulfill a purpose that has been preordained before my Creation.
My experience of living only defines one facet of My Creator. My Soul glorifies The God Who Was, The God Who is and The God Who will always be.
So what is this all for?
The heart of this question lays in the man that sits at the table pen in hand, journal open with the pages waiting to be inscribed...
What is this all for...
Why do I, day after day, bleed out my thoughts through the ink in my pens?
Is it in vain that I structure these pages with the dimension of my mind?
Is it ego that drives me to think that what I go through mentally, emotionally and spiritually is important?
Or is this deeper than that?
Isn’t this reminiscent of the first Mans written words?
Isn’t this the very act of a Man leaving his mark? Telling his story... verifying his existence.. at least to Himself if not to others?
Am I destined to carry the weight of my own understandings all by myself in this life?
Conscious thought and creative effort come together in the tip of my pen to inscribe my expressed thoughts upon these pages.
This is an act of verifiable existence.
I was here. I lived. I lost. I laughed. I cried.
I loved. I was overcome. I overcame.
Day after day my Journal holds my awareness. Caged within the lines and the pages and the two covers are my sunrises, my sunsets, the spectrum of my emotions, and the Prayers of my Soul.
Here are the currents that drive me. Here inside myself is the last great unknown that any human can discover.
Only the Strong roam here.
This is no land for uncertainty. Skepticism is a prelude to denial and I must be sure of my purpose in searching here or I can get lost in my own deceptions.
There is no room for weakness when one dares to venture inside himself. I believe that this is the place where Angels fear to tread.
My mind and my soul have been the dark corners of my universe where nightmares prowl.
I have had to acknowledge that the demons that I have wrestled with have looked and sounded just like me. I have had to walk across the battlefield of my heart and I have had to bury my dead time and time again.
I have ventured so deep within that I have confronted myself, and found that my unwillingness to believe in God,
was standing in the way of God.
It is in this place that The Light has finally shined.
It is in this place that God has found me.
It is in this place that He called My Name,
And brought me forth.
I, Who was once asleep in the World,
Have been awakened by Christ.
My eyes have been opened.
My life has become new.
The world I see now is not the same world that held me prisoner for so long.
I have seen the Hand of God moving very visibly in my life.
I have been given Dreams, Signs, and affirmations that even in the face of my failures and shortcomings I am no longer alone.
Recounting this,
This is what this is all for.
This is why the expenditure of ink and effort is worth it.
All those who can hear, I urge you to listen.
All those who can see, I urge you to look.
Here, The Lord has Passed.
Here, The Lord has freed a man from bondage.
Here is where The Lord has Brought me.
Here, The Lord has started a Good Work.
Praise Be to God.
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