Veiled
“How ironic,” said Niera to herself. “My life is me, hidden under the tons of makeup that I wear to look glamorous. When I remove it, I become who I am and the real me gets bared for all to see.”
It had happened ten years ago. Now, in 2025, as she walked once more through the corridors of her high school, Niera could still feel all the embarrassment that she had gone through. There had been great moments spent here, that was for sure. But here had also been where she had had a most traumatic breakdown, related to stress, educational and emotional, and which had led her to be diagnosed with severe depression.
“Happy Birthday to me,” she sang softly to herself, as she gazed, stonily at the uniform clad girls sauntering along with books on their arms, looking like they had no care in the world.
She bit back tears of regret and wondered at how her life would have turned out to be had she not met with that breakdown. Unlike most young people of her age, she had not been able to enjoy her twenties, had never been to university and had never come across love. She had been eighteen at that time and her breakdown had been like a sturdy dragon, ready to fight her on her way to complete her higher school certificate. Now, at twenty-eight, she had managed to climb through the steps of life by becoming a makeup artist. Totally engrossed in trying to make herself and others look their best, she had, two years after her breakdown, met with stability even if she still had to take medicines regularly.
Her doctor, an old man whom she still hates, had told her parents,
“Find her something that she likes, something to keep her busy and which would not allow space for a relapse. Her experience was a mild one and her depression will get cured eventually. Along with her hobbies, she needs care, love and attention.”
Her parents had heaved mountains in finding her the best therapist in the island, a kind lady called Julia with whom she had had sessions once a month. Through those conversations that they had had, her parents had understood that she really liked to paint and colour. They had brought her to an art school, had enrolled her for a hobby course and had watched her unfold, with pride. Her depression had regressed and now, she only needed calming pills.
She had met girls of her age at the painting classes who were zealous about learning how to apply makeup in a professional way. One thing had led to another and soon Niera had found herself in a classroom learning about all the secrets of applying foundation, of choosing the right colour of lipstick for a night event and of matching the blush colour with the dress worn. Niera had come out first at the makeup school exams and she had been awarded a one year fully paid scholarship course in the United Kingdom to professionalize herself further.
The journey there had been a lovely one but it had also been one laden with sacrifice. Her doctors had prescribed her medicines for her before she left and had given her letters of recommendations to see doctors there in the UK. Also, her mother had accompanied her and had stayed with her, for the whole year, while her father had looked after her younger sisters here all alone. But the year had passed and within weeks of her return back to the country, she found herself employed by a group of leading beauty salons. Her reputation at being awesome on her clients had grown speedily and soon, she had found herself doing the makeup of the contestants of beauty contests and even those of significant fashion shows.
Even brides to be sought her out and she found it extremely hard to juggle in between her busy schedule. But the skies were even more benevolent towards her. She had soon found herself partnering with a photographer and a decorator. Niera had become a famous figure in the island. Her name needed no introduction. Still, no one knew about her dark side, as she called it, since she preferred to show to the world, a perfect image, laden with beautiful makeup and sparkling smiles, being at all times, jolly, understanding and glittering. Her dark side was such that however much she tried to hide it, or be in denial of it, its cards, laid out on her table, would always spell it out for her: she once had a severe depression. Her psychiatrist had, a few times, hinted that she stopped her pills. But that would imply being treated more regularly as the threat of a relapse would remain gaping at them all.
“You have been faring so well,” had said the latter. “I have never come across such a case as yours. You could try stopping these pills for a while and see if you can live without them.”
Niera’s parents had welcomed this initiative but Niera had been scared out of her wits.
“No,” she had said. “Medicines are there to help me.”
Today, as she walked through the corridors of her former college, as the chosen guest for a speech on beauty techniques for the annual Prize Giving ceremony, she swallowed her gulp as nervousness took over. She lived with a veil upon her and no one could lift it up. She had, through the years, mastered the skills needed to pretend that she was made of perfection and she knew exactly, that this image was what was being sought out in her, from the rest of the society, made up of individuals who also carried on them, flaws.
After her speech was done, she felt moved to tears as everyone clapped for her. From the look in the girls’ eyes, she could see that she was an idol, much envied. They yearned to be like her, a success after having completed college. The rector offered her a bouquet and said,
“Girls, Niera is our pride. She is the image that our school wants to project. Our girls leave us with dreams in their eyes and with capabilities in their hands. They walk on the path of hard work only to achieve what Niera has. Be proud of her, girls!”
Niera blushed some more as she was applauded. She was invited for a tea party in the staff room and noted with some regret, that her former teachers were no longer there. Still, the images of her breakdown played themselves in her mind. She remembered of how she had started swearing at her teachers, at her rector and how she had even lashed out at her friends, pulling at their hair and tearing apart their books and copybooks. All because she could not cope with the load of educational work that she had. She remembered of how she had collapsed into unconsciousness and how she had woken up at home, not understanding anything that had happened to her but, being a completely different person. More, the fright of her first visits to the psychiatrist filled her up with revulsion. But all she did was to swallow her gulps and to paste a jolly smile on her pretty face.
Back home, an hour later, she slumped on her bed and cried her heart out. When she was done, she took a warm bath and went for dinner with the rest of her family.
“How was your day?” asked her father.
Niera recounted only the positivity to him. She chose her words carefully, knowing that even if the latter showed himself as a brick wall, he was in fact a glass pane. When she had been diagnosed, he had cried his heart out, as would a toddler being denied the toy he is yearning for, right there in front of the psychiatrist. Niera brushed that image away, laughed some more and pasted a wide smile on her face.
“Tomorrow is going to be full as well,” she chatted on.
“Oh!” said her mother. “Is it the fashion show of that great man…hmm I forgot his name?”
“Yeah that’s it!” laughed Niera. “His name is Jean Rocher and he is presenting a new collection, themed ‘Snowy Mauritius.’ I will have to do the makeup of sixty models.”
“Wow,” said Reeya, her sixteen year old sister. “Wish you loads of courage!”
“When you love your job, you don’t really need the courage. It comes naturally. Besides, I won’t be alone, we will be working in a team,” laughed Niera.
“Well,” continued her mother. “I have something to announce to you. We have been talking about it, your father and I, and now, we want you to be aware of it.”
“Sure,” said Niera perplexed. “Am all ears.”
“Aunty Lally had called the other day. She thinks that you are of ripe age to be married. She has come today to see if we would agreeable to marry you. The person concerned is the son of Dr Chopra, the famous cardiologist. He is thirty three, works as a dentist and is well liked in society. He has agreed to meet you. We need your opinion. What do you think of all that?”
“Oooh,” laughed Jaya, her other sister. “Marriage??? Haha!”
“Stop being funny about it,” scolded Niera’s father. “We shall see about you when your turn will come.”
The girls remained quiet as Niera finished chewing on her food. A lot of things swam in her mind. Marriage and her? She had never thought about it, knowing that she had a side that she kept hidden to the world. Marriage would imply having to disclose this side, to unveil herself and to say to the world,
“Here I am! Accept me for what I am or leave me!”
“Does the person concerned or even his family know about my breakdown?” she asked casually.
“I have asked Aunty Lally not to reveal anything about it for now,” said her mother. “God willing, if the boy likes you, he may understand about it and love you even with your flaws. We are not born perfect. Nobody is perfect in this world. We are mere mortals, made in the image of God and accepting ourselves as He made us to be, with the imperfections that He threw upon us and the fate that He wrote for us is all about loving Him.”
Niera swallowed her gulp and looked at her father. The latter did not say anything and kept on picking at his food calmly.
“Dad,” she pressed. “What do you say about it?”
“You are a young and beautiful girl. You are sound in your mind and you are a successful public figure. I don’t see any problem with you and I don’t believe the boy should see anything wrong with you as well.”
The matter was settled and closed. Niera was given a few days to think about whether she wished that the boy, called Kairav, should meet her in some public place or whether he is to come to their house. That night, in her bed, Niera wondered if whatever she was going through had any meaning at all. She had always dreamt of love, sweet love imbibed with romance. The man of her dreams should have been able to sweep her off her feet and have her forget everything, even the fact that she was living with her past breakdown. Niera felt the burden of her life weigh upon her.
The days went by and she went on with her activities as casually as she could and when her mother pressed her for an answer, she said,
“I would prefer to meet him someplace where we can sit and talk, maybe a café or something.”
Her mother transmitted her message to Aunty Lally who immediately set herself to work into arranging a meeting date. Niera was simply informed that she was to go to ‘The Eastern Coffee Shop’ next Sunday at 11 a.m sharp. She went through the week with mixed feelings. Being a makeup artist, she was familiar with the basics that she had to go through to make sure that her skin would glisten and look good. But at the same time, she wondered of how he would perceive her; either as a normal person who lives with health issues which get treated with medicines or as a mere mad woman.
Sunday leapt into the scenery and The Eastern Coffee Shop, found in the beautiful rural region of the East, saw a nervous Niera walking up its steps.
“Yes ma’am?” asked the waiter. “How can I help you?”
“I am waiting for someone and I would like a table for two please,” smiled Niera.
“There is already a gentleman sitting on the veranda, could he be the person you are meeting today?” continued the waiter.
Niera tensed. It was only ten thirty. She had chosen to come earlier so as to allow herself to get used to the surroundings. Now, it could be that her ‘date’ was already here as well?
“I have a meeting with Dr. Kairav Chopra,” she mumbled.
“That’s him. He is here already. Come, I will show you the way!”
Kairav stood up the moment she came in front of him. Ever so gentlemanly, he immediately set Niera at ease.
“So,” he asked casually. “What would you like to have?”
“Well, I think a fresh juice with lots of ice would do. It’s so hot,” she replied.
They both settled for fresh orange juice and cheese sandwiches.
“So,” said Kairav on a jolly tone. “Tell me more about you.”
Niera went about with her life, her hobbies, her likes, her dislikes and even her family. But all this did not seem to interest him.
“You never had a boyfriend?” he pressed.
“Hmm no, no, never,” she mumbled quite taken aback.
“And why?”
“Hmm, well I have never found someone with whom I could connect,” she replied.
“No,” he said. “I cannot believe that. Surely you must have had crushes over boys back at college.”
“Well, little crushes but nothing serious.”
They chatted on for quite some time and Niera learnt that he, quite contrarily to her, had had a live-in relationship with a girl while he was studying back in the UK.
“And well after I chose to come to Mauritius, we had to split up,” he said ever so casually.
“Don’t you think,” she ventured, “that putting up with an arranged marriage might be disastrous for you? Like, what if you miss her or try to find her in me?”
“No way,” he said. “I am firm and stable in my decisions. My life is here in Mauritius and she, well, due to her work, her life will be built in the UK.”
As they talked, an idea dropped in Niera’s mind. She started talking about God, about the imperfections of the human body and of how as humans, we are all to accept each other. Then, she could handle it no more. Kairav seemed to be an open and down to earth man.
“I have something to tell you,” she said casually.
“Sure,” said Kairav.
Niera looked into his eyes and felt a rainbow come out of her heart headed towards his. She could not help but spill out everything about her health, her fears, her apprehensions and even about the precautions that she would have to take someday, should she be pregnant.
“Really,” said Kairav. “I appreciate that you told me about it so honestly. I think I admire you so much Niera. Your calm composure and your strength of character, your stoicism and your braveness. I have fallen in love with you and I would be so honoured if you would give me your hand to walk through the ways of this world together. You know, everyone lives with a health issue. There is no need for you to feel so embarrassed about it.”
Niera was speechless for a few seconds. Then, she realised that from now on, she would hear the moon sing even in broad daylight. Her heart was skipping and she broke into a sweat. She could do nothing else other than melt in the delight that life was offering her. She breathed out a sign of relief and could not help but shed a few tears at the comfort she could feel in Kairav’s love.
“I never thought I would meet love,” she told him.
He smiled at her and pulled her in a hug so tight that she knew she would now be in safe hands. Niera breathed out a sign of relief. She knew that now, she would be living a genuine life and love was part of it.
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