The Lost Wives Club

My wife and I went to Walmart Supercenter at I44 & SW 104th last weekend. While I was cruising the aisles, not lost, but looking for her without success, I happened to round a corner and bumped my cart into another person’s cart. Typical senior accident, some might say. I looked up and it was a good looking young guy about 30. He had several things in his cart that seemed very feminine. He glanced down, then said, “Those are my wife’s.” I responded, “Young man, I’m sorry I ran into you like that. I wasn’t really paying attention. I’ve been looking for my wife for about 10 minutes or so and can’t find her anywhere. I know she’s here….I brought her; but these damn super centers are just too big.” He smiled and said, “We’re in the same boat. I’ve been looking for mine for five minutes or so.”

I thought for a moment and said, “Listen. Maybe we can help each other out. What does your wife look like?” The young man got a faraway look in his eye, but, after a moment, he said, “Well, Mister, she’s a damn good lookin’ woman, she is. She’s about 5 foot 8 with thick, bushy blonde hair, and, piercing deep blue eyes……oh, and she has flawless skin. She’s kind of a light golden tan……all over……ALL over. Works out all the time, so she’s toned and very shapely. High, perky boobs too. She's flat bellied with long, beautiful legs. Mister, she has perfect knees….and she’s even got pretty feet. If you see her from behind, it looks like a perfect upside down heart. Today, she’s wearing a white cotton halter top with no bra and a pair of hot pink Capri slacks that fit like a second skin." After a long pause, he suddenly snapped back into this world and asked, “Now… what’s your wife look like?”

I smiled and said, “Hell, son…that doesn’t matter. Let’s look for yours.”

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