The I's Have It
Oh the woes of high technology! iPhones, IPads and iPods are all things that I can do without. Just the mere thought of using some of these devices makes me cringe! I never wanted to leave the comfort of simpler times, so I’m probably the only person left on earth with a working VCR, hand held camera and rotary phone. You realize today if you lose your Smartphone you’ll also find yourself without your address book, photo album, alarm clock, flashlight, coupon caddy, dictionary, calorie counter, remote control, music system, calculator, map and of course, your communication device. Still, as hard as I fight, I too am sucked into society with all its changes. I have chosen to keep things as simple as possible so for me it’s the little cell phones one can pick up at a local convenience store for around $10.00. Of course I have to get the cards to use with them but it’s a small price to pay for familiarities don’t you think?
One day I was out and had failed to purchase an airtime card for my cell phone. I needed to call the credit card company and knowing I would probably be on hold forever, I thought I would wait until I got home to use my old standby – my rotary phone. Now this phone is just fantastic! I special ordered it from Germany, it took six weeks to get here and it’s the most beautiful green color I’ve ever seen! The problem is I’ve used push button phones for so long I actually look at the rotary dial and my brain can’t find how to use the numbers in consecutive order. (At my age I don’t need to be tricking my mind like that.) I was about to go home to my phone when my daughter Erin said, “No mom, here. Use mine.” She whipped out a shiny blue, slim-lined contraption from her back pocket.
I was a little intimidated by the screen and all its fancy pictures that when pushed would whisk me off to some unknown territory. I found the keypad and began dialing the number. “Hello and welcome. Please enter your account number followed by the pound sign”. When I took the phone away from my ear, the screen was black. I didn’t know which button to push to turn it back on. Apparently, it was ‘sleeping’. “Here mom” Erin said impatiently, “let me dial for you”. At that moment I felt like a little kid asking someone to unscrew my sippy cup. She tapped her fingers vigorously on the screen and once again I was connected to the automated voice on the other end. This time I would be ready! I entered my account number as fast as I could but fumbled the LAST two numbers. I needed to correct them so I hit what I thought was the backspace button. “Oops. What did I just push?” Erin sighed and took the phone once again, and with a swift swipe of her fingers she was back where I had left off. This time I was able to dial it myself and enter my account number without hesitation. As I waited for the next instruction I heard a “Beep-Beep”. The phone muttered as it vibrated rapidly in my hand. “I think you’re getting another call” I said sheepishly. I looked at the screen for the appropriate button to push. The little green phone receiver made sense, so I pushed it.
Suddenly I was disconnected AGAIN!” I pushed the little ‘house’ icon, the little ‘world’ icon; some icon that looked like a little T.V., but nothing seemed to take me where I wanted to go. I tried the next button and suddenly the screen came alive with a picture of my SHOES! I had activated the camera. I was hoping this phone was indestructible because I was ready to throw it into the street. In a space of three minutes I learned every function on that blasted thing, EXCEPT how to make a call.
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