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The Hitchcock Adventure


The great day had finally come

when he had heard the call of youth

Time to tread the mystery road!

And so, with a toast of champagne,

he set sail on the Spanish Jade

Bon Voyage, he heard the farmer’s wife exclaim!

Bon Voyage, Richard Elstree!

The course, north by northwest,

Adventure Malgache

He’d always dreamed of Madagascar

and a story “To tell your children”

“Though I’m certain of my decision”, he said

“beyond the shadow of a doubt,

I confess a bit of stage freight

as I watch the birds fly south”

Now many an interesting bloke did he meet

Including Harry, the man from home

who had affairs one after the other,

woman to woman

and who was obsessed with the number 13.

When questioned why he had never married,

his reply was simple,

“You always tell your wife the truth

when your drunk and I’m always drunk

and that would be the end

of the passionate adventure

in the pleasure garden!”

Under Capricorn sun they continued

when a stowaway was found

A woman named Marnie in a life boat revealed.

A woman of easy virtue, from all appearances

except for the ring, that Topaz ring.

Perhaps a rich and strange great lady

who had stumbled downhill, a prude’s fall

or one of Lord Camber’s ladies?

Suspicion overwhelmed, could she be a saboteur?

Perhaps a secret agent!

Would they force her to walk the 39 steps,

off the plank to a watery grave!

Seeming so young and innocent, her fate improved.

From port to port, circumventing the sea, she became

a part of the crew.

Still spellbound by her beauty, they plotted a course

to the Islands.

Finally, reaching the Jamaica Inn

Harry, the philanderer had to have room 13,

That’s the trouble with Harry!

Marnie, whom they called Mary for short,

was assigned to number seventeen

just next door.

Respite for a day or two, restocking and such was all

that was planned.

Richard, Harry and John Paradine

decided to ask Mary to join them

for dinner, before sailing for the States.

Tapping her door, Elstree calling! He summoned

There was silence! She was not in her room.

They search.

She’s not anywhere, the lady vanishes!

At her window, a torn curtain!

Now Mary did suffer from vertigo, could she have

fallen from her rear window

or was this the work of a psycho!

The authorities said, their faces resembled those

of three live ghosts when the men feared this

this could be murder!

“She left of her own free will” said

The blackguard of a police chief,”open and shut!”

“The result of love’s boomerang, she’s gone,

back to her lover!”

Maybe that was true, just an elastic affair and

she flew away as fast as the mountain eagle.

into the arms of the manxman of her youth.

Sadly, they embarked, knowing not

what had happened.

Once again, a long voyage northward,

docking alongside “the Princess of New York

The backdrop of Manhattan, a spectacular sight!

Though they could not forget about Mary,

The distractions of the city did help.

First a play, “The Bonnie Brier Bush

Then another,” Juno and the Paycock

Then a movie,”

The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog’

Now, Harry Smith and Richard never trusted Paradine,

Ever since they’d caught him telling dangerous lies!

Was he capable of blackmail?

Friends close, enemies closer, their motto,

so they decided

to give him enough rope to hang himself.

Perhaps, they would crack the Paradine case.

Harry, Richard learned, had been a member of

The Fighting Generation, a movement back home

and he trusted his skill. He would sniff

out the skin game.

There’s more than one way to catch a thief and if

John Paradine had anything to do with it,

Harry would figure it out; after all,

he had solved the case of the “the White Shadow

He wasn’t afraid to dial “M” for murder!

But was Harry the man who knew too much?

Was Richard helping the wrong man?

Just then, in waltzes from Vienna, a beautiful woman.

She looked like Mary!

But how could this be, yet, it was she!

Her real name was

Rebecca and she and Harry

were Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

She was a Foreign Correspondent

and this whole escapade had been

a frenzy of a family plot

to keep her safe!

She had escaped the

German concentration camps factual survey.

Constructed using every title

In Alfred Hitchcock’s filmography


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