The Gift
Paul’s is a well respected men’s clothier….has been for many years. Paul himself either innately possesses or consciously developed the ability to know, without benefit of a customer’s input, exactly the item or items for which they are shopping. He knows not the source of this gift; but has always tried his best to respect the gift, using it to the customer’s benefit.
As an example, a customer walked into Paul’s one day; and, after exchanging greetings, Paul said, “Don’t say word. I know exactly what you need.” The man responded, “Sir, I don’t know you and I’ve never been here before. How could you possibly know what I need?” To which Paul responded, “Sir, it’s my job to know my customers. You need a navy blue blazer, 100% camel hair, fully lined in a 42 regular. I’ll have to take up the sleeves about 3/8 of an inch; and, because you will normally wear it with gray slacks, you would like gray metal buttons, instead of the brass tone.” Stunned, the customer said, “My God. How did you do that? That’s exactly what I need. Paul smiled and said, “It’s my job to know my customers.”
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Bill had a migraine headache; not just a run-of-the-mill migraine, but a pounding, relentless migraine that had lasted every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year for a little over five years. He had lost his job. His wife and kids had long since given up their tolerance and left him. He’s never gotten a decent night’s sleep. He’s lost a lot of weight, because he doesn’t really have an appetite. And sex……even a little self abuse….is completely out of the question. So, Bill went to his doctor and said, “Doc, this migraine has lasted over 5 years. It’s cost me everything that ever mattered. I would rather die than live like this. Please. Please, Doc. Just give me a pill or a powder and let me go home and end it. The doctor looked sad, almost ashamed, as he said, “Bill, you know I can’t do that. And…..well….I never dreamed it would last 5 years; but……well……I do know how to get rid of it.” Bill’s heart leaped as he exclaimed, “Oh, thank God! What do I do, Doc!? What do I do!?” The doctor lowered his eyes and almost mumbled, “We’ll have to surgically remove your testicles.” “What!”, Bill exclaimed. “You mean cut them off? That’s pretty serious Doc. Both of them? ” The doctor, at a loss for further words, only nodded solemnly. As the reality of the situation came through, Bill suddenly put it all in perspective. “You know, Doc, the way it is, sex is out of the question……even a little self abuse. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. So, if you do this and the headache goes away, then I could sleep for days; I could enjoy a nice meal again. Who knows, Doc? I might even go back to work. Let’s do it! Check me in!”
Today, Bill is waddling down the street and feeling very sorry for himself. Oh, the headache is gone; but he keeps seeing attractive women everywhere, reminding him of the sacrifice he made. He decides to do something nice for himself for a change, something to help him forget the sacrifice and enjoy a new life without constant pain. He goes into a travel agency and, over the next hour, schedules an 8 month world cruise that even includes river cruises at various locations around the world. All the wondrous places he’s ever dreamed of seeing he is going to see. As he leaves the travel agency, he suddenly pauses in his musings of this fabulous vacation and thinks, “I’m going to need an entire new wardrobe for this cruise.” He walks down the street until he comes to Paul’s Men’s Store.
Paul greets Bill will a smile and a hand saying, “Don’t say word. I know exactly what you need.” Taken aback, Bill says, “I don’t know you and I’ve never been here before. How could you possibly know what I need?” Paul, still smiling, decides to really “show his stuff” for this customer; and so he says, “Sir, it is my job to know my customers. In your case, well….let’s just say you’ve had a serious “personal” issue for the last 5 years or so. You’ve finally found relief. You’ve decided to do something nice for yourself for a change…..and that requires a new wardrobe. Is it a long cruise?” Like others before him, Bill is agape. “My God. How could you possibly know all that?” Paul proudly, but calmly, reaffirms, “Sir, it is my job to know my customers.” and proceeds to lay out a fabulous wardrobe. It is as if he is reading Bill’s mind. Every size, every color, every style, every fabric……even the brands……are perfect. Bill stops Paul for a moment and says, “You know, this is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed. How do you do it?” Paul just smiles….just a glimmer of a smile….and says, “I really have no clue. All I know is that it’s my job to know my customers. So…..are you happy with the wardrobe?” Bill was gazing across the tables covered with his new clothes. He could almost see himself strolling the decks of the cruise ship and looking quite dapper. Suddenly, he comes back to reality and says, “Oh, sure. It’s everything a guy could want or need to wear.” Paul responds, “I’m so happy you’re happy; but we would certainly be remiss if we forget foundation garments. Let’s see…..v-neck tee shirts, 100% cotton, white, medium ……and Jockey shorts….100% cotton, white, 34s.” Bill exclaims, “Wow! You know you are the most amazing individual I’ve ever met. Do you realize you laid out this entire wardrobe……..all of it…..it’s almost perfect! You only missed the size on one thing?” “Oh, really?” asks Paul. “Yes. Oh, yes,” said Bill. “You’re right, of course, I do wear Jockey shorts, 100% cotton and I do prefer white; but……well……I wear 32s.”
“Oh, no”, says Paul. “Thirty-twos will cramp your testicles. You’ll get migraine headaches.”
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