The Cat Is Dead

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The Cat Is Dead

That night he said-

“I don’t think they will be sexually compatible.”

“Oh.” She assumed the date was nearly over. She hoped he would still pay. It was an awfully expensive—where were they? Wilshire and…

Then he had nodded in the direction of two very old but very tanned people sitting across from them. They ate and paid no attention to each other, occasionally glancing at their I-phones.

She covered her mouth and nodded.

On the way back driving in a soundless all-leather car he had asked-“And where are you from again?”

~

The morning after she said –“Au Sable Forks” and she thought she heard him say-“Sugarfish”-as he went to his enormous shower. She wasn’t sure if he was calling her by a pet name but then remembered that was the name of the restaurant on Canon Drive. What was that wine! They were answering questions from last night.

The sex was technically okay but lacking spiritual or emotional depth, as her art teacher had told her. She was working on that-with her drawing-but she thought maybe he had been working on the technical for a long time. Did he shave his legs? His face was awfully smooth for his age. His hair…

She looked around and the room was bare, everything was white, metallic or cement. The only thing that had color was her red undies that were on the floor. They stood out like blood or a flower on the white rug.

She wondered why she felt nothing. He came out rubbing his hair and wearing a white monogramed bathrobe that showed off his muscular tanned calves.

He had heard her.

“I did some business in Buffalo years ago but that was before…Hey, I have a workout scheduled. Here. He comes here, I mean, pilates, stretching. Two hours of Josh—that is all he calls himself and his business-Josh. Worth every penny. You can…”

“That’s okay. I have to do some stuff before my shift at Pearls.”

They had met there at Pearls, or rather he had noticed her rear as he was ordering and met her after her shift. Her friend Stacey had warned her about “Pussy Surfers” but she was from upstate New York and no one had really paid her attention except tourists passing through, mostly married men who wanted to meet with her after they sent the family to visit Asgaard Dairy. One for one they thought she was the prettiest Pizza Hut waitress they had ever seen.

They could be right, she thought. Her legs did turn heads, just like her Mom’s had. But mostly she wanted to draw. Men and sex, when they happened, were only to help her focus on her art.

“You can use that shower.” He was pointing to the smaller one without the stones and the overhead misters- whatever.

She skipped the shower and dressed, got her bag and walked through the bedroom arch. No door! She had no idea how to get out or if she was upstairs or when she went out where she was.

“I’ll Uber you.” She walked the long hall behind him and looked down at a huge, circular fireplace. The whole downstairs was at least ten-foot glass walls. A woman down below was walking toward the huge open kitchen. She could smell coffee.

He lead her to the door and and kissed her forehead. She stood for a moment. She had never “Ubered” and didn’t know exactly what was expected. The woman from the kitchen came out and looked at her and him.

“I have your Ph. water and your mineral water outside for you. And towels. And Redbull for Mr. Josh. I think you should offer the young lady some coffee.” She looked at him and he turned slightly pink.

“You are right, Mina, of course. Please. “Mina walked her back inside and he went to the back deck and started to stretch. She and Mina went to the kitchen and Mina poured her coffee that smelled like heaven. She sat on a padded stool at the island.

“Men are so rude,” Mina said. Soon she had made eggs, bagels, bacon and some sort of cheese flat thing with onions.

“This is unbelievably delicious. The onion-cheesy thing,” she said.

“And girls these days don’t eat anything!” Mina watched her eat and smiled. “It’s a German thing, the onion cheese. He is not a bad man but he is thoughtless and trying to be young when he should be happy to be old.” They watched as Josh stretched each leg out. Josh was a man sculpture with long blonde hair. He worked him on a padded folding table that had been put out on the lawn in the sun. Grunts of pain came across the yard.

“He is sixty-three.” She nearly coughed out her sip of coffee. Mina dabbed her blouse with a wet cloth. “I know. You are thinking-that, “she waved toward the back-“could be my grandfather!”

“His face is so smooth and he…”

“You can spare me the details but, well, I can tell you are not from here. Botox, pills and other tricks are making everybody look young. Me, I want to look like I look. I think God gets dizzy looking at old people who look young. It messes with his plans.” She crossed herself.

“I came here to go to Art College. In Valencia.”

“Valencia, Spain?”

“No, Valencia California. It is about twenty miles from here off the Five.”

“That is pretty far away from here. But what happened?”

“I didn’t do my research. I thought you could just go and start. It costs forty-five thousand and you have to be really good.”

“You aren’t good?”

“Not yet, I mean I am getting there but…”

“How far did you come?”

“Upstate New York.”

“Oh, you need to eat more!”

“Mina you are too cool. There are cheaper schools. I just need to…I live in one room with a girl who has a hundred boyfriends. I haven’t unpacked my easel.”

“Well. “ Mina made a to-go bag for her. “Here is what we will do. Don’t tell him. I run this house since the…. I am part German, part Mexican. Probably the German part is Nazi. Family story is that a few Nazis escaped and settled in my hometown. I love German food. And I love to order people around. So he doesn’t mess with me.”

She got off the stool, took the car key Mina had given her, with two other keys. Mina showed her how to open the side gate lock and unlatch it from the back. A place of her own! The car was a Camry.

“Are you sure…”

“He gave the Camry to my daughter. My daughter doesn’t drive so it is mine. Oh, and there is one other thing. He has another woman who is very jealous.” Mina couldn’t help herself and started to laugh. “She is a big fat cat. Old and spoiled. She lives in the little house, too, and he feeds her from the deck. If he has any love in this world it is Moon Glow. Not a name I would choose. She walked in as a little dirty crying kitten in sixteen years ago.”

“Wow. I didn’t know cats lived so long.” Mina crossed herself again.

“She is eating less and I don’t see her do her business.”

They both sighed at the same time.

“I need somebody to talk to once and awhile so you will be helping me. Don’t think about it.” Mina patted her. “And you won’t mind if he brings other girls…” They both laughed. “Every man thinks he is God’s gift to women. And, of course, there is only one man for each of us.”

She felt excited as she drove away, again not sure where to go but following Mina’s instructions to go down. But also like something too good was happening and would soon fall apart. Didn’t it have to?

~

Lucy Stearns turned half of the living room of the tiny back house into a studio. She had an easel, a long folding table she gotten for free from a garage sale and a three-drawer plastic container on wheels filled with her pencils, charcoals, tools, and things she had collected since she had started to draw at the age of five. Her uncle had sent them out when she had gotten the room in Eagle Rock. She even had oils but had never used them, except once. Her art instructor in eighth grade had shown her work to the class as what not to do.

“Some artists,” he had said, “are like oil and water and do not, should not mix well in this most revered medium.” He had offered no help, nor noticed her tears on the sketch she turned in that day.

But drawing was impossible to stop. She drew everywhere and all the time-grocery bags, the walls of her room, the backs and insides of school books, the walls of her bathroom. Her mother let her do it and showed everyone her works, even the men with black boots and tattoos. In fact, anyone who said anything negative, Lucy never saw again. Her mother had even put on a show of her works in their living room inviting friends and people from the club where she worked. Her mother was proud that she had even sold five sketches of the little town where she lived. An article in the town paper had mentioned her in the “Going Places” column.

Now she was trying pastels and was in love with how hard it was to draw anything! She had told herself this is impossible until one day she drew a quarter of a peach that she could have poured cold cream on. Even Moon Glow smiled when she saw it. And they sat admiring it while the cool Santa Monica Mountain mist spilled through Moon Glow’s window over them both.

Work wasn’t as bad now that she could draw and without the distraction of a roommate who seemed to have more relationships that was possible in the time between working and sleeping and living stuff. And sharing one room - although she felt sorry for her when the tears flowed and the anger poured - did not leave her any room or time for drawing.

Each week she would give Mina a sketch and an envelope with cash for rent. Even though the cash was about one fourth of what the actual rent was- and Mina tried to refuse it- it made Lucy feel that she could stay.

“Mr. Brownstein does not need this money!”

“Then you take it for the house supplies and stuff. I eat so much here and that coffee must be really…”

“Shush, shush. Okay, okay.” She would bring Lucy coffee in the morning and leave it on the shelf on the barn-like window that Lucy left open all the time. And bagels or something with cheese and onions and spicy meat that was…not as good as drawing but better than sex for sure.

“Is he leaving you alone?” Mina asked one day. Truth was they hadn’t seen each other except once when Lucy had decided to use the Jacuzzi late at night after celebrating with too much cheap wine on getting her drawing placed in the window of a Westside Yoga place. She was leaning back with eyes closed and he was calling out Moon Glow Moon Glow! He saw her and she was about to get out and he waved his hands. “Just looking for my lady”.

“Completely leaves me alone. We didn’t really make a connection.” Mina gave her a sugary fried banana creamy thing. “Oh, this is something new!”

“You don’t need to tell me anymore. He is my friend and I know you are not that kind of girl.” Mina popped a piece of bagel in her mouth and then took a sip from her latte cup.

“You should have seen me chasing those German boys! I just want to leave a tiny bit of my mind open for something good. And he doesn’t’ really make connections either. I think he is really in love with Josh who also is German I am sure of it and, of course, Moon Glow. I treat him kind of hard as you see, being a descendant of Mexican Nazi care-takers.” Mina paused and pulled up a stool next to Lucy.

“I will tell you now. And I never tell anybody even my friends. There was a bad car crash. His wife was driving the kids back from some sport thing. If you saw him after that. You couldn’t help but… He lost his wife, his son. His daughter stayed alive in a coma for a while. I was new but I decided to see it through. I couldn’t just leave him no matter how hard it was. This house was a morgue. He struggled for years and then this little cat- kitten wandered in. I never saw anything like it. He changed completely. They were inseparable. The money he spent on her! And then he started up his new business whatever that is-I don’t understand it-financial seeding something for movies. And he was allergic to cats but he found medicine and studied how to prevent it. And he came home looking young from the face doctors.” Mina looked at Lucy.

“I can tell you are thinking the same thing. You should marry him! No, I am joking, of course. No. No. There is one more shoe to drop. So this is what I live for. I guess you could call it living.”

“Can I see a picture of your daughter?” Mina looked at her and then patted her knee. Yes you will. You will”.

Lucy got off her stool and gave her a big hug. They both looked out the kitchen window. Moon Glow was laying on the old dry bird bath. She was spread eagled on her back.

“I am glad she was fixed!” Mina said and they both laughed.

~

Lucy took free nude drawing classes that had been listed in the Los Feliz Reader. She had never tried it before but had in the back of her mind that she was supposed to draw nudes-she was an artist right?

She walked into the first class, sat on the bench and when the model took over her robe, promptly spilled all her pencils and her box and had to go up front right where the model sat to gather them up.

She found that it was really hard. No wonder you are supposed to draw nudes. It is impossible. It must be a filter or a test, the wheat from the chaff or something. You make it as an artist through all these barriers and then you realize you were an artist all along-which you already knew.

Then the male model came in. And disrobed. She had seen male bodies before. They were okay. Kind of built for functioning and delivering motion and maybe some grace. But this guy’s thing was too long. It spilled off the stool like a sad puppy. The instructor came up to her.

“This you first time, sweetheart?”

“How could you tell?” She breathed out and the giggles left her. The instructor had striking green eyes. Lucy stared at them a few seconds too long.

“What is your favorite thing to draw?” she asked. Lucy put pencil to lip and then took another peak at the eyes. Your eyes.

“Probably fruit.”

“Perfect! Behold a piece of fruit!” Lucy looked at the man, his shoulders and torso and legs and huge feet. If a dinosaur was hungry he would just be a piece of fruit. The man thing-the distraction-was a stem or something. She started to draw. She felt the tiniest touch on her shoulder and tingled as the instructor walked away.

At the end of the day Lucy had piles of drawings. None were very good but she felt elated. She bundled them up. She wanted to take them home and show Mina. They would get a good chuckle. A very handsome man was talking to the instructor. He was older by twenty years but looked like—he couldn’t be-no, it was that guy in the TV show she had watched with her mother. The re-runs. What was that detective-police thing. She only watched it because her mother would come home from the Club with pizza and it was their time together. It had to be him-Rodney or no that was that name of his partner, the fat goofy guy.

Suddenly she started to feel tears roll down her cheeks. They were falling on the drawings. She grabbed her box and started toward the back door but it was blocked with boxes on the outside patio. She rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her shirt and head down started to walk past the instructor and the actor man. She got to the front door and felt a slight tug and then she was turned perfectly around, like a ballerina, and was again staring into the green eyes.

“You need a glass of wine-good wine, my treat.” She tried to say no thank you but her throat didn’t work-wherever words came from-didn’t work so she walked out with the Instructor. She put her things in the Camry.

“This whole area has wine bars and little dives. They all sprung up when we turned, oh, thirty something.” She put her arm through Lucy’s and they walked along Glendale Ave toward a place with a thousand tiny shiny lights in the hedge out front.

“Is your husband coming?” Lucy asked desperate for a tissue which then magically appeared before her, offered by the delicate fingers of the Instructor.

“Oh, no, “ she looked back behind them. Richard is our benefactor, a very nice man. Used to be an actor in…” Lucy stopped walking, bent over and started to cry.

Through sobs-“I know. I u-u—sed to watch him.”

The instructor put two arms around Lucy and they walked past the wine place to a tea place.

“You need tea, not wine. Here sit down. Lucy sat and blew her nose. And sighed and looked around. It was all women. Some quite beautiful, some well, a bit rough, like some men were.

She smelled the tea her instructor put before her.

“Oh my god! And I never say that! I just want to breathe it in all night.”

“And wait til you taste it. It is guaranteed to put the blues back in their box. And scare away vampires.”

They sat in the little garden quietly, sipping, breathing. The night air made their skin slightly shiny and moist and everything seemed sort of fuzzy to Lucy.

“I have a hard time not staring at your eyes.”

“At them or into them? Thank you. I do, too. And I must tell you, that I have vowed to never fish off the company pier.”

Lucy blanked.” What’s that?”

“It’s an expression. From the corporate world. Mostly from men but equally applied to women. You have heard of Hewlett Packard? I was an HR big-wig there and you can’t believe the law suits from pissed off…And now, voila! I teach drawing.” She took a long sip from her dainty yellow cup. Lucy watched her fingers this time.

“I vowed not to seduce my students.” Lucy blushed feeling heat on her face despite the cool night air.

“I’m not… I like men, I think I do, but I am not, I haven’t, except once when I was six, but that was…”

The instructor took Lucy’s hand and smiled. ”Stop! That it exactly what the depositions sounded like.”

The instructor watched Lucy’s face when another pot of tea was placed in front of them. Lucy inhaled it.

“What do you think?” the Instructor asked.

“I think I am ready to tell you. But I don’t usually tell anyone, even boyfriends or friend friends. Is that the tea talking?”

“Well, it is called Confession Thyme—t-h-y-m-e. Get it?” The little shop closed and Lucy didn’t notice that the proprietor slipped a key in the instructors hand to lock up. They were friends and had been more than friends back when.

Lucy took the cup with roses on it in both hands and talked. And even when she got to the part when she woke up and heard something get dumped hard on the driveway and got up, she was eleven, and went out and saw a long low black car fishtail away-even then she said it to the Instructor without tears. The tears seemed to be gone. She talked into the green eyes.

The green eyes, though, filled with water, when Lucy talked about turning over the lump and seeing her mother’s face and the blood on her cocktail blouse and a note stuck on her bloody cocktail blouse. And when she told her about the note- “FBI Snitch”, the instructor made a funny sound, like a puppy tied to a tree not liking it sound.

“What was your Mom doing, like undercover stuff?”

“No, I read about her when I was doing a project in High School about bravery. She was just reporting what she heard about drugs, heroin and kind of being a good citizen and mom. She didn’t want me to have to see bad things. Our town was really small but some bad guys had started to come in from Buffalo. It was like organized crime stuff. My uncle had raised me after that.

“Whoa.” The instructor looked drained. “I can see why she liked that show with Richard. It was all about justice.”

“She was a really good Mom,” Lucy said. “Now I think it is time for wine!”

They got up and put their arms around each other and walked to Lucy’s Camry. They drove down Glendale to Fletcher and stopped at the gas station across from Ricks Drive In. They got out of the car and went in looking for wine. They started to giggle and soon were nearly collapsing. The manager came up to them.

“Can I help you, ladies.”

We are looking for the best…” They completely cracked up then…”the best wine Arco Gas Station has.” They had to hold each other up.

The man regarded them, his arms folded. His was patient but stern, maybe like a teacher and also darkly handsome.

“Have you heard of Grenache Beckmen?” The Instructor stood up straight.

“From Los Olivos?”

“The same.”

“You have that here in Arco Gas Station?” The man walked toward a display they hadn’t seen. He took a bottle and showed it to them.

“Holy…”

“Not quite, holy, but close. Obama enjoyed it.”

“I know.”

“Not this particular year but…”

“We will take it. We’ll take two.”

The Instructor paid and bowed to the man. They paused in the parking lot staring back at the Arco until someone beeped their horn loudly for them to move.

“I’m hungry,” Lucy said.

“Nothing better than Ricks. What time is it? We have ten minutes. By the way, where are we going.” The instructor asked.

“I thought I would show you my studio.” Lucy said, wondering if she could be in love or just relieved but no matter, she was hungry first. Mina had really made her unafraid to eat. But she hadn’t gained any weight. Or at least it was good she didn’t have a working scale.

They ordered chili fries and hamburgers to go and started to eat them in the car. It was cold so Lucy put on the heater.

“Damn these are good,” she said. They drove up the five and then then to Los Feliz and to the 101 and then to Mulholland Drive.”

“You live up here?” the instructor asked.

“Yup,” Lucy said as she was fed a fry.

“In another life I did too.”

“How many lives have you had Ms. Hewlitt Packard art instructor?”

“How old do you think I am?” Lucy looked quickly at her. She thought of Mina’s boss, the man she had slept with, his legs, his face. How old is anyone here?

“It is confusing.” Was all she said.

“Thanks for being polite. No one here,” she said, waving a floppy fry, “thinks they will die.”

“Hum.” Lucy knew only the one death and it seemed alright now after that tea.

They reached the house, the driveway. Mina’s car was still there. She could see her in the window, probably cleaning up after a party. They put some of their trash in the plastic can, Lucy unlocked the gate and they walked with the hamburgers and the wine down the path toward Lucy cottage.

“Nice!” the instructor said as they came into the little studio. The instructor admired Lucy’s set-up and Lucy opened the bottle. Lucy ran quickly across the lawn and asked Mina for two glasses.

“Oh you have a man. Is he your age? Don’t tell me.”

“I won’t. It is my teacher- a woman. “She wanted to tell Mina about her green eyes.

Mina held up her hand-“No, don’t tell me. I am still keeping this little place open in my heart for you. Even as a German exican I believe in the Pope.” She crossed herself.

“We aren’t...”

“Go, go. Have fun.”

Lucy ran back. The instructor was on her bed looking at her sketch pad.

“These are good. Some are very good.”

“Thanks. I have been drawing forever.”

“Seems like it.” Lucy poured and they drank the wine.

“Oh my God,’ they both said.

“Thank you Arco Gas Station!” They ate the hamburgers and listened to music. One bottle was gone.

“Okay, I am not trying to be Katy Perry here but,” Lucy leaned over and kissed her Instructor before she could finish.

“Oh my.” The instructor kept her eyes closed. Then opened them.

Lucy looked at her. She looked deeply into her absolutely beautiful, green eyes.

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay.” The instructor leaned toward her.

Lucy moved away. ”No, I mean, sorry…”

“Oh, that sorry.” The instructor looked at the floor. “Well, we always have the second bottle.”

“Yes, and I won’t sue you as I made the first advance. And we have something else very special.” Lucy took the bottle and her hand and led her to the Jacuzzi.

“Voila. As you say.”

“I didn’t bring my…” Lucy was already stripping and tossing her clothes.

“Okay then.” The instructor did the same and they slipped in and the water was great. The jets made bubbles, the second bottle wine was even better.

“You know what you can do in a Jacuzzi with the jets?” the Instructor said.

Lucy had her head back, her hand holding a glass with the nectar from the gods.

“I think I can guess.”

“Have you tried it?”

“No, not yet, I mean I have thought about it. But…”

“Well, since we aren’t having sex, and that is totally okay, we can still have sex but just not with each other but…” The Instructor turned around in the Jacuzzi and put her feet up over the edge. He arms trailed behind her and she put them out and lightly paddled. “Try it! It is very European! And it like a giant bidet!”

Lucy turned around and did the same. “A what?” She could feel the Instructors hands making small waves behind her and then she moved herself slightly upwards and…

“Oh, my.” They both said. They had both found the best position.

“What number did-you-put-the…”

“I think-it-was-seven…”

“Perfect—oh-whoo! Hhh—ohhh my god…seven is heaven..”

Suddenly Mina appeared out of the mist and Jacuzzi fog and stood above the Instructor who opened her eyes slowly. “No thanks. Not now. Not now..” Mina was holding two pale pink bathrobes. Mina went around to Lucy who went under the water briefly as she pulled her legs off of the Jacuzzi.

“Mina!”

“It’s okay. I didn’t see anything that I haven’t seen before. I heard but I didn’t see. Now girls I am very sorry to interrupt what you were doing but he is coming out right now.” She held out the bathrobes. “I saw you out here and I brought these. Moon Glow is missing and of course he is very upset. Sometimes she goes away during parties but she usually comes when the guests leave and helps me clean up and I give her a treat. It is not like her and we couldn’t remember the last time we saw her. Do you remember seeing her?”

Lucy and the Instructor got out and took the bathrobes and tied them around themselves.

“Moon Glow is a cat.”

“Yes, I saw you had some wonderful sketches of her.”

“Mina, this is my Instructor…”

“Does she have a name?” Lucy looked at her blankly.

“I am Jessie, Jessie.”

“It is nice to meet you. Even in the dark I can see you have beautiful eyes.”

“Thank you.” They heard steps and looked towards the lawn. It was him.

“Hello.” His hands were clasped tightly in front.” Has anyone seen Moon Glow?” He looked in the Jacuzzi. And saw the wine glasses and the bottle. “Nice wine.”

“Ok, boss. Let’s see if we can find her so we can go to bed or whatever…was she in the cottage at all tonight, ladies?”

“No, we didn’t see her. Hum. “They started to fan out and call her name. He and Mina went toward the back where the tall hedge and the wall made for many places where she could be. Lucy and Jessie walked toward the deck. They looked under it and called out.

“After this we have to finish…That was just too good. Seven.” Lucy started to crawl under the deck but her knees started to hurt from the stones and odds and ends on the ground and her bathrobe started to come off.

“I don’t think she is hiding under there.”

Mina came up to them.

“Maybe we should just wait until morning. She should show up then.” Mina shook her head.

“I could sleep, you could sleep but he could not sleep. Moon Glow is his family. Not even I come close although I do far more for him than the cat. Who I love of course.” She tapped her heart.

Lucy drifted away and walked toward the bird bath. She felt her chest get tight and she shivered. The wine and the tea had combined to give her some kind of hyper-awareness, like in the movies. As she got closer she saw a shadow in the bird bath. She knew what she would find but did not call out. She wanted to touch her first.

She stood next to the bird bath hearing Moon Glow! Moon Glowwww! She put her hands out and touched the shadow. She felt fur, she felt the head but it did not respond but was just a disconnected thing, light and empty. A bit like…She forced the memory away. Somehow the others sensed something and walked towards her. They stood at a distance but he walked up.

“You found her—good!” But he didn’t come forward. “Is she okay? Does she need the vet? There is twenty-four hour vet near LAX. Mina, warm up the car.”

The three came forward and put their hands on Moon Glow. Jessie started to cry.

“I can’t believe I am crying. I never met her.”

“Ok, ok. Let’s go. Mina get the cat cage and I will start the car.” Mina walked up to him and touched his shoulder.

“She is gone. Moon Glow is gone.”

“Ok, I got it but let’s get her to the vet. They know what to do. The ladies can help us get her to the…”

The three women turned toward him.

“The cat is dead. The cat is dead.” They all said.

Finally, he looked at Mina. “You are used to this kind of thing. With your daughter…” Mina looked at Lucy and from her eyes expressed- I will tell you the story. She led him away and Lucy and Jessie went back to the Jacuzzi and collected their clothes.

They went back to the cottage. Lucy put a sketch of Moon Glow up on the wall next to the window where she would come and go.

“I don’t know why I am so sad,” Jessie said. Lucy looked at her. Her eyes looked tired. She decided not to tell her about Mr. Brownstein’s family. Or about Mina’s new unrevealed secret. One story-one event-was enough for the night. The mist came in the window; the moon appeared through the clouds. Jessie put her head on Lucy’s shoulder. She imagined Moon Glow’s spirit sitting next to Mina and her boss as Mina put him to bed. Probably with pills.

The other shoe had dropped. It was what we women waited for, Lucy realized.

Lucy walked Jessie to the bed and covered her up. She went outside and found the shovel that Arnulfo the gardener had left next to the shed. She dug a hole next to the bird bath and buried Moon Glow. She put a picture of Moon Glow in the grave and a picture of a family she had drawn when she had first stayed in the cottage.

The dirt smelled good. She smoothed the ground with her hands. She didn’t know exactly how drawing and art fit with life, or death for that matter, but she knew why she was there, then, at that moment at the end and the beginning of someone else’s life.

She walked back to the cottage and got in bed with Jessie. It was warm. She smelled like chili fries and wine. She spooned with her like she had with her mother.

She fell asleep while her mother laughed and swooned over Richard on TV and the gun on his hip.

“Mom!”

And then in her dream she remembered they had had a cat, too.

Buttons! How could she forget her!

And there she was playing between them in the pizza box.

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