THE ANGEL WHO WALKED AWAY
A JOURNEY TO SEEK INNER PEACE
The speeding bus and the black E Class Mercedes had one thing in common; both were trying hard to reach their destination early. Unfortunately, the State Road Transport bus had an apology for shock absorbers, whereas the state-of-the-art car had the best in the business.
The rickety old bus was doing 40 kmph, but it appeared, from the cacophony it created, that it was doing more than 100. Sana tried hard to get some sleep, to forget the past, but the never-ending assortment of sounds invaded her ears with a harshness that made her realize that her effort was going to be in vain. She was going to her grandma, Shirin’s, place.
It had been more than ten years from the time when Sana had last visited her and was keenly looking forward to their meeting. She wasn’t very fond of her grandma. They had their fair share of arguments. As years passed by, she mellowed down. She also realized, when she was away, how much she loved her. She realized the arguments, mostly from her side, were trivial, petty and juvenile. She was feeling sad and guilty, and the present condition of the bus did nothing to alleviate her discomfiture.
Her discomfiture was more psychological than physical. She was running away from her past. A past she was trying very hard to forget. It was not going to be easy, but she had made up her decision. She was going to stay with her grandma for however long it would take to ease the pain. She had no intention of marrying or losing her heart to any man again. If grandma, at her age could manage to live alone, so could she. It was all about making adjustments. She recollected a verse from her younger days… “kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan nahi milta; kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahi milta”. Loosely translated, it means “nobody ever gets the entire world, there is always something missing”. In her adolescence, she did not fully understand the meaning of this verse. Now, she understood every bit of it, and it only pushed her into more despair.
Sana had left her love behind. She had left her comfortable job behind. She had left all the people she knew behind. In one night of deliberation, she threw everything away. She wasn’t paranoid, neither she took this drastic decision in haste. It was a conscious decision. She didn’t want to be a thorn in the person’s life whom she loved dearly. It is said, “everything is fair in love and war”, but Sana looked at life differently. She thought that, in love, one should learn to give, and she loved her man so much that she was ready to sacrifice her love for his happiness. She also knew it would be very difficult for her to forget her love.
That is why she was leaving everything behind. She wanted to start life anew. She felt lucky that her grandma was there for her. Together, somehow, they would try to pick up the threads of their broken lives.
UNEXPECTED INTERRUPTION
Sana gathered, without comprehending, that the bus was slowing down. There was something blocking its path but couldn’t make out what it was. She couldn’t see either because the people crowding in front of her blocked her view. She was clueless and wondered what it could be. She fervently hoped the bus didn’t break down, because that would be a tragedy for her. She would be stranded in the middle of nowhere in a land that was notorious for dacoits and rapists, and not knowing what to do. She dreaded the very thought of such an eventuality.
Sana could hear the driver shouting at something or someone but couldn’t make out what he was saying. The crowded passengers in front of her were getting restless and started venting their anger with some choice expletives. Suddenly, there were sounds of jostling as if someone was trying to push through the crowd. The jostling continued for a while as the crowd in front wasn’t too eager to let the stranger push through them in such a reckless fashion. But whoever it was, it was clear to them that this stranger was determined to get through and wouldn’t have it any other way. Ultimately, better sense prevailed, and the stranger was allowed to move, albeit, slowly in the crowded bus towards the back.
His dark, peering eyes scanned every individual as he pushed through until they rested on her. A smile broke through his sombre façade, which in happier circumstances could have been regarded as a handsome countenance. The shock on Sana’s face was what brought the smile on.
Suddenly, time stood still for Sana, all the noise and voices became feeble, distant, and meaningless, until what remained was an uneasy silence and she could vaguely feel the energy draining out. She fainted.
When she came to, she gathered she was no longer in the rickety old bus. She was in the cool, dust free, interior of the black Mercedes, free from the maddening noise. The same two eyes were peering at her intently and with concern.
AN ARGUMENT ENSUES
“Why did you come, why are you doing this to me, Amir?" Sana felt the blood drain out of her.
“I had to come; I had no other alternative.” Amir blurted out, relief hogging his tired face.
“What do you mean you had no alternative; you had everything going for you, the whole world at your feet, and… and the most beautiful girl by your side… why did you come for me?” Sana stuttered, fighting hard to hold the tears.
Amir shook his head and continued, “Look Sana, Zara is a good girl, and very beautiful too, she will make a perfect wife for some lucky man… but frankly, I am only interested in you”. Amir felt it was time to give Sana a piece of his mind, “who gave you the right to desert me without even knowing the truth. You assumed that I was torn between the two of you and you decided to become the ‘angel who walked away’ without really comprehending my love for you. If only you could understand that this sacrifice of yours would have been an utter waste. I would have never married Zara in a thousand lifetimes. To me you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and I have eyes only for you”.
Sana wasn’t sure whether she should be angry or elated. Did Amir really mean that, or was he just being chivalrous?
“I don’t believe you.” I know Zara was in love with you, I’m sure of that. That’s the reason I wanted to move on”.
“My dear, does it matter what you believe or don’t? Anyway, haven't you heard beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?”
“Then, you need to go see an optician.”
“You mean an ophthalmologist?”
“I guess that’s the one”, feeling a little peeved at her own mistake, Amir didn’t wear glasses.
“I did, the doc says something’s the matter with my heart.”
“Heart? Did the learned ophthalmologist say heart?
“Well, not exactly.”
“You are up to your old tricks again.”
“No, I’m outta tricks today; it was my cardiologist, the old man, who said that”.
“I don’t believe it. You were the fittest person I ever came across”.
“Oh, it’s got nothing to do with physical fitness”.
Amir, always, had an irritating obsession with obfuscation, thought Sana, but she was incensed as this wasn’t the time or place to unravel old grandma’s riddles.
“The old doc ran a few tests, nothing showed up. Then, he ran a check on my background. Had a long chat with me and came up with a startling diagnosis. He says, ever since Cupid’s arrow found it’s mark, my heart’s been doing a little tango of its own.”
“Oh my God! Words, words, and more words; yet, I am none the wiser. Can you explain to me in a simpler language that my poor brain can decipher?”
“Oh, never mind.”
“You’re such a brute!”
“And… you’re so dense!”
“You followed me all the way for 200 Kilometers to win an argument?”
“No, winning is not important to me, I just love arguing with you”, retorted Amir with a wink.
A MATTER OF GRAMMAR
Sana realized that something was wrong, she turned around to locate the bus, but the bus had long since gone. She was perplexed.
“What am I doing in your car, and where is my bus, what will I do now"?
“So many questions from a lady who just came back into this world from the dead, what am I going to do with you?”
“Please, I have to go. Grandma will be waiting for me. I had informed her that I was going to live with her”.
Amir was lost in thought for a while. The silence in the car was palpating. Sana wondered, what took him so long to answer. She made an effort to say something but decided against it. She didn’t want to be the one to break the silence.
After what seemed an eternity, Amir turned and looked intently at her. He had finally made up his mind, “Okay, I’m not stopping you from going to your grandma’s place, though I need to correct your grammar”. Sana knew he was, once again, playing mind games and she had no inclination to argue with him.
Amir was grinning from ear to ear, “the ‘I’ in your statement is wrong. The grammatically correct sentence is ‘we’… we have to go”. Thus saying, Amir hit the accelerator and the dark silent beast effortlessly surged ahead.
Sana was shocked. She didn’t know what to say, deep inside she felt she didn’t want to argue; she just laid back into the soft leathers of the Merc and closed her eyes seeking an inner peace. If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.
Inside the hour, the car overtook the rickety bus and speeded away into the golden glow of the setting Sun.
mbfarookh
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