Talkin' Trash

How many times must a woman ask a man to take the trash out? I always wanted to take a national poll. Since I worked outside the home after my kids started school, I figured the chores should be shared. The girls and I split up the housework and the trash was left to the guys.

It seems like every day I would ask the boys to take the trash out and EVERY DAY one or all of them would say “okay”. After about the third time of me asking them nicely, I decided to move it close to the door so they’d be sure to see it on their way out. When I returned the next afternoon, there it sat with my son’s jacket and backpack tossed over the top of it.

The next morning, I wrote a large note and taped it to the doorknob. PLEASE TAKE TRASH it screamed in bold, black marker. That afternoon, I arrived to find the trash still in the same spot. The note must have fallen off the knob when they left and was now stuck to the carpet.

On my way out to work the next morning, I decided to pull it right in front of the door. (This was now becoming more about the principle). They would now either have to go around it, step over it or tunnel under it to get outside. Returning home once again that afternoon, my hand trembled as I put the key in the lock and s-l-o-w-l-y turned the knob. There it sat in all its glory - right in the middle of the room. That’s it! I’d had it! I figured over the weekend I would just take it out myself on my way to running errands. I had a million things to carry already; a bag of clothes for the drycleaners, bag of plastics to recycle, laundry etc., what’s one or two more? I set it in front of everything else.

Saturday morning, I got up, got dressed and headed out into the living room. Lo and behold – NOTHING. No bags anywhere. I yelled to my youngest son “what happened to all that stuff that was in the living room?” He came upstairs and put his arm around me. “Mom, we know we’ve been slackin’ on the trash so we got up and threw it all out early this morning. It looks like just in time too. The garbage truck came an hour ago.”

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