Strap

“Mama, where are we going?”

Trapped in a daze, I was suddenly interrupted by a child's voice behind my back.

“Ah, yes. I am walking, and I carry my son behind my back”, I thought to myself. When did everything start anyway?

Ah, yes. I remembered. A war broke out. The once bustling streets filled with bright lights are now in ruins under the moonlight.

“How many died again? Wait, did anyone survive?”, I asked myself again.

“Mama I'm hungry, I'm in pain”, as I heard my son's voice, I cried silently, suppressing any sound to leak from my mouth. It's supposed to be cold tonight. After all, this is the North. But strangely, my body seems to be covered in warmth. I don't know, I'm still hearing the ringing sound in my ears caused by the continuous bombing.

“Mama, are we there yet? It's getting cold.”

Hearing my son's question, I was suddenly woken up completely from being in a daze. I just realized, I've been walking without a destination in mind, I just have the urge that I must walk. Oh, we're at the steel bridge already. *Coughing* I covered my nose and mouth, and waved it in front of me, trying to fan off the smoke away from my face.

“Huh? How?”, I asked myself. Just after a few seconds, I froze still, as an ominous feeling ran through my mind.

“How am I carrying my son?” I reached for my back from my shoulders. There he is, he's on my back. I ran my hands on my chest, I felt a strap. “Thank goodness.” I sighed in relief. “There's still a long way to go, let's get moving.”

I reached for my back, now from my waist, attempting to interlock my son's legs on my arms as means of support. But as I reached, “None?” my eyes grew wide and shivers were sent to my spine as I suddenly remembered.

I bursted into tears, wailing like a crazy woman. I fell on my knees and started hitting the ground. I reach for my strap, unknotting the piece of old cloth. I closed my eyes as I brought what was strapped in my back.

“I am very sorry, Benny. I am so sorry. Mama can't protect you.” I cried and mourned, then, I lost track of time. I never opened my eyes, but I hugged what I was holding. It's still warm, but it's getting colder.

Suddenly, my tears stopped flowing, and I began to tie the strap on my back again. I continued walking again, passing the bridge and many buildings after. I was again, trapped in a daze.

“Mama, please let me go now so you can be happy.”

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