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Short story


My name is Oluseyi Macaulay Akinbami, I was born in Lagos, Nigeria in 1973 to a family of a devoted cleric, my father was a minister at a local community church, my mother encountered the gospel and was in her lifetime a godly example after an unusual encounter which I recalled in the 70s. growing up in a religious atmosphere, as is in the mind of every young man, I was curious to know what life is all about.

There was a burning desire to know what this whole charade called life was all about, I saw and experience pain, suffering, death, and many confusions that made no meaning, there were no answers in sciences, which I took the time to investigate, and none from the environment, I saw the perplexities and the rat race for pomp and pageantries, even these does not answer the meaning of life for me.

Surrounded by young ebullient contemporaries, we yearned for communion with God and hungered for a deep revival knowing Christ through The Way, as we read the Bible and historical documents of many who lived before us, I read about the Azuza street revival, this fervency evoked the passion for mission and welled up a deep desire to be lost in the divine immensity.

I graduated from the University of Lagos Nigeria and university of Alberta Canada, I was not by any mean the least in those human walls of impacted theories where men are constantly seeking to unravel a sealed document about life, purpose, postulating on the unknown, nothing in those walls fed the deep-seated hunger within my soul,

I endured the necessity of devise schemes to be thrown into the sea of life in search of sustenance which mere men priced so high and pursued with vigour, none of these answered the yearnings of my soul.

I commend those who conceived to confined all men to these patterns of education calling it the fore wall of knowledge but my source is deeper than the walls of academics and I have never been confined except to the lustre of vanity fair from whence I am now escaped, and to deliberate solitude where I have lived all my life.

I have had several escape from this realm, travelled through the bank of deep thoughts, there are moments of unusual transverse in realms for inquiries, I let my vessel drift before the wind, sailing through the attractions of this passing terrestrial clime, despising all that men calls good, scaling heights to scatter gems from fountain beyond my reach.

I saw Jewels, scattered diadem, I touched gold, scattered some, losing much, provoking the minds with innumerable rumination, I penned some of these moments in lines losing many in the rat race of life, some were kept from my foolishness, men call them poems, I call them so, spontaneous overflow from a bay leaf and this fickle frame.

There are depths too obscure, others so plain, many uncertain beyond my raveling, some knotted lines of experience, others telling the tale in simple language, am I beside myself? I cannot tell, I am a mere mortal confined in this decaying frame. Night time are blessed moments and I use them when he gives strength

With the sense of an iconoclast, I do not want to follow the crowd, questioning everything, I had my days of childhood emotions and youthful exuberance, too soon they fritter away, easily misunderstood and sometimes introverted, poems and words have been my vents and means of expression. I sought seclusions away from distraction, I elope in my mind though visible to mortal eyes, to feast at the table deep inspiration drawing gems from a well not mine.

Into the cup of every invention, I went down the primrose path, trying to make meaning of life, there were several questions which were never answered by those renowned in knowledge,

I saw the futility of life. Then, I returned to the Bible, there and then I found the glimmer of hope, brightening my eyes, and in my naivety, I buried all worthless ambition, I tread the path with fear and faith, I am resolved to finding God through the Lens of scripture, the bible has has been the document of investigation, upon its sacred order, I confess and own my faltering fallible frame, imperfect though I am, yet the map is accurate and the decisions are immutable, I have mirrored life through its lenses and if upon the sacred word I stand condemn, It is my own weakness

Oftentimes in the quest for knowledge, I read several other religious books and secular books, I am a very curious investigator of Books, many ancient writings formed parts of my puzzles on this path called Life, in my curiosity for truth, I read through the several documents, I read Shakespeare more time than I can count, then I realized that every science creation or Art was at best a mimicry of the content of scripture.

It is a book so despise yet it is my compass, I have found many returning to it after a wasted and futile efforts in life, I chose to embrace it with a plea to its divine author who through the pages of the infallible word, illuminates and provide life’s victuals.

I am still in the classroom of the divine science not as a casual reader, I searched, the height, the depth, the length, and breadth of the content and seek to know God for myself, the more I studied the less I know, it enlarges and widened beyond my grasp and has been my encyclopaedia of all sciences and knowledge.

There are many unwritten experiences of life which may never be written, some unvoiced, known only to God and thousands which men take to their graves because there are no words to express them.

If this little story does not signify, it is my error, It is not a biography, It is a little summary of my path in Life.


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Book: Shattered Sighs